Conventional therapeutic wisdom aside, people typically don’t hurt each other because they’re out of touch, unable to communicate, or can’t help... Read more
Do you want to be right or be married? Okay, now pause, think, breathe . . . and choose between First Consciousness and Second Consciousness. Read more
At least 30 percent of couples coming to therapy have fundamentally different agendas about whether to try to save the marriage. If we’re ever going to... Read more
Those gritty TV depictions of kids scratching out an existence on the streets aren’t just a sensationalistic fabrication. Read more
In these tough economic times, how do therapists distinguish between money troubles related to the recession and those that have psychological roots? Read more
Neil Clark Warren, the founder of the successful matchmaking site eHarmony, talks about what’s necessary to find a good, compatible match. Read more
A cyber relationship revives a marriage in the doldrums. Read more
While partners caught in the anger merry-go-round invariably blame the other, both typically pass the anger back and forth like a shared virus. Read more
In the rush to preserve marriages, therapists must also recognize that there are marriages that shouldn't be saved. Read more
This article first appeared in the March/April 2006 issue. Let’s face it: psychotherapy isn’t dramatic, and most therapists don’t rate high... Read more
Whether we like it or not, today's couples feel far less encumbered by the legal, social, and moral strictures of traditional marriage and its obligations... Read more
My Parisian colleague was shocked to learn that American therapists typically encourage couples not only to confess their affairs, but also to share the... Read more
What happens to couples once our affair recovery work with them is done? Read more
A middle-aged man facing the challenge of coming out explores the uncharted territory of a "mixed-orientation marriage" Read more
Twenty-five years ago, it was considered a great advance when therapists first began to approach childhood abuse as a form of trauma. Now new research suggests... Read more
It's one thing to make change happen in a couples session; it's quick another to make those changes tick over time. Read more
Whether they know it or not, what most people are looking for in sex therapy isn't so much a change in specific behaviors as a way of developing a more... Read more
Open porn use introduces a relational question that most couples never face: how to live with the knowledge that your partner's erotic fantasy-world often... Read more
What do issues of fairness and relational justice have to do with psychotherapy? Read more
Given that most couples never manage to change each other very much, teaching them to forgive each other's imperfections is a vastly underutilized therapeutic... Read more
Too often couples make contrasts in temperament into negative stories about how their partner won't change. Could it just be that every couple is The Odd... Read more
A young woman who's on her own for the first time discovers the difference between being alone and being lonely. Read more
Many therapists assume that if they help couples improve their relationships, the improvement will naturally lead to a rewarding erotic life. But what if... Read more
A case study examines the differences between sexual orientation and behavior and what really happens when straight men sleep with men. Read more
Prenuptials may seem unromantic and focused on worst-case scenarios, but they can clarify critical issues and avoid problems down the road. Read more
Despite marketing blitz, Viagra hasn't turned out to be the neat remedy for erectile dysfunction for men over 50 that was promised. Can therapists offer aging... Read more
While the end of a marriage is undoubtedly painful, it doesn't have to be pathological. Read more
Making "contact" with our partner means first recognizing a subtle inner substrate where we encounter everything from boredom to anxiety to sexual interest to... Read more
Esther Perel explains why new parents need to prioritize their sex lives instead of leaving them at the bottom of the to-do list. Read more
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