Terry Real

Contributed by Terry Real

11 Results

Magazine Article

May 22, 2022

The Myth of the Individual

Tapping into the Relational Brain

Current research indicates that we’re not walled-in, freestanding individuals. Our human brains—in fact, most mammals’ brains—are built for coregulation. Read More

Magazine Article

March 2, 2021

Reflections on Rich

Friends Celebrate His Life and Legacy

Esther Perel, Jay Lappin, Mary Jo Barrett, Mary Pipher, Richard Schwartz, Ron Taffel, and Terry Real

Sharing how Rich Simon impacted our lives—and the field as a whole. Read More

Online Story - Symposium Highlight

January 29, 2020

VIDEO: The Found and the Lost

A Transformation

Terry Real

Of all the meaningful sessions that take place in a therapist’s office, certain ones stand out. In this Symposium storytelling highlight, couples therapist Terry Real shares a memorable moment from his work. Read More

Magazine Article

July 3, 2019

Working with Difficult Men

Where’s the Leverage for Change?

Terry Real

The conflict between an older, more traditional view of masculinity and a newer, more progressive one is the underlying issue in many marriages today. Helping these couples means violating many of the fundamental principles in the traditional therapy playbook. Read More

Magazine Article

September 7, 2017

The Long Shadow of Patriarchy

Couples Therapy in the Age of Trump

Terry Real

The election of Donald Trump and the resurgence of populism throughout the West were fueled by a renewed pull toward certain notions of traditional masculinity. Although therapists have remained largely silent about this revival of patriarchy in the culture, is neutrality really in the best interests of our clients? Read More

Two people on a broken heart in an ocean, rowing in opposite directions

Magazine Article

July 1, 2015

Rowing to Nowhere

When is Enough Enough?

Terry Real

A therapist shares how to walk with a client couple through to their divorce and then let them go. Read More

Online Story

March 19, 2014

Should You Have Leverage Over Your Clients?

Terry Real on Why Male Grandiosity Necessitates Leverage

Rich Simon & Terry Real

Terry talks about grandiosity and the destructive behaviors it leads to, thus making leverage a part of the therapeutic process. Read More

Online Story

December 3, 2012

Motivating the Resistant Male Client

Terry Real On Why Leverage Is Key With Men

Terry Real & Rich Simon

You’ve probably worked with men who’ve been dragged, kicking and screaming, into therapy by their partners. But how do you work with a client who... Read More

Magazine Article

November 1, 2012

Joining Through The Truth

Coaching and Our Assumptions

Terry Real

A new breed of therapist believes that it’s disrespectful not to say to clients displaying obnoxious, selfish, or self-defeating behaviors what traditionalists might only share in a supervision group. Read More

Magazine Article

November 1, 2011

A Matter Of Choice

Deciding: to be Right or be Married?

Terry Real

Do you want to be right or be married? Okay, now pause, think, breathe . . . and choose between First Consciousness and Second Consciousness. Read More

Terry Real, LICSW, is an internationally recognized couples therapist, speaker, author, and founder of the Relational Life Institute (RLI). His latest bestseller is Us: How to Get Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. He's also the author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner), the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, and The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work.