Underneath it all, the narcissist is skeptical and frightened.
That’s the first thing to remember, according to Wendy Behary, a recognized expert in treating narcissistic men. The second is to use the consulting room as a microcosm of the wider world. Third, and most important, is to stay in the moment.
Engaging without enabling is possible, as Wendy demonstrates in this video clip.
Rich Simon
Richard Simon, PhD, founded Psychotherapy Networker and served as the editor for more than 40 years. He received every major magazine industry honor, including the National Magazine Award. Rich passed away November 2020, and we honor his memory and contributions to the field every day.
Wendy Behary
Wendy T. Behary, MSW, LCSW, with over 25 years of professional experience and advanced level certifications, is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC-DC. She has been treating narcissist clients, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems; training professionals; and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy was on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York (until the Institutes merged in 2012), where she trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. Wendy is a founding fellow and consulting supervisor for The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Aaron T. Beck’s Institute). She served as the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST) from 2010-2014 and is currently the chair of the Schema Therapy Development Programs Sub-Committee for the ISST; and also served as the Training and Certification Coordinator for the ISST Executive Board from 2008-2010. Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on Schema Therapy and Cognitive Therapy. She is the author of an international bestselling book, “Disarming the Narcissist…” (New Harbinger, 2nd edition) translated in 12 languages. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism for professional readers. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, narcissism, interpersonal relationships, anger, and dealing with difficult people. She receives consistent high praise for her clear and articulate teaching style and her ability to bring the therapy to life through dramatic demonstrations of client interactions in the treatment room.
