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What Talking About Fantasy Can Do for Couples Therapy

...And Four Questions to Get the Conversation Started

Tammy Nelson • 1/5/2018 • 1 Comment

By Tammy Nelson - Sexual boredom often results from the assumption by each partner that there's no longer anything new to discover about the other, or about their sex life together. I've found that a therapist can alleviate such sexual ennui by helping each partner reveal previously undisclosed erotic fantasies. This apparently simple step can lead to new ways of seeing and experiencing the partner and the self.

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The Therapeutic Relationship, Revisited

A Man Discovers a Safe Guide, and a Real Person, in His New Therapist

Stephen Lyons • 11/21/2017 • 1 Comment

By Stephen Lyons - My work with Sara began in an uninspiring, windowless, downtown suite that she shared with another therapist. But before long, my therapy hour was the high point of my week. She came to show me that there were places I needed to go—vital, hidden places—that I couldn't get to all by myself. She showed me that she was a trustworthy guide. But after Sara suffered a devastating loss, I saw clearly, all at once, that she didn't simply exist to meet my needs.

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What Do Transformative Therapy Moments Have in Common?

The Surprisingly Simple Way to Get Powerful Results Swiftly and Reliably

Bruce Ecker, Laurel Hulley • 11/9/2017 • No Comments

By Bruce Ecker and Laurel Hulley - There's a moment that we therapists savor above all. Before our eyes, a shift takes place and the client slips from the grip of a lifelong pattern. Three decades ago, we discovered that what distinguished the pivotal interactions was that we had completely stopped trying to counteract, override or prevent the client's debilitating difficulties.

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A Child’s Respect is Bestowed, Not Extracted

How Much Parental Authority Do We Really Need?

Janet Sasson Edgette • 10/13/2017 • No Comments

By Janet Sasson Edgette - Preoccupied with commanding deference, some parents fail to recognize that a child’s respect is always something bestowed, not extracted. Thus, they end up forfeiting the opportunity to remain credible influences on their children in favor of levying control, which is a poor and costly approach to relationship building.

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Lessons from Therapy with Adolescent Girls

Four Tips for Strengthening the Therapeutic Alliance

Martha Straus • 8/22/2017 • 1 Comment

By Martha Straus - For me, working with girls is what I do with the greatest interest and passion. I have wells of empathy to draw on, and can stay attuned with them more easily than with males. Our bond is implicit, and by being as fully authentic, connected, and present as I know how, I help them make it explicit. Here are four of the biggest lessons I've learned in my therapeutic work with adolescent girls.

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Creating a Support System for the Caregiver

Confronting an Unprecedented Challenge of Old Age

Terry Hargrave • 8/17/2017 • No Comments

By Terry Hargrave - In many respects, extended old age represents a vast triumph for modern medical science. Forty or fifty years ago, people who became seriously ill in their sixties and seventies usually didn't live very long. On the other hand, it means that long after most of us have received our AARP card, we'll be caring for our aging parents, on the front line of caregivers for frail, elderly parents.

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Loving Our Devices

When Does Attraction Turn Into Addiction?

Lauren Dockett • 7/23/2017 • 1 Comment

By Lauren Dockett - More and more therapists, regardless of how they feel about internet addiction as a diagnosis, are advising clients about the healthy use of their digital devices.

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Getting "Ghosted" by Clients

Four Stories from Therapists, and What They Learned from Their Experience

Chris Lyford • 7/8/2017 • 1 Comment

By Chris Lyford - We've all seen it happen. Maybe some of us are even guilty of it ourselves: Sometimes it's easier to simply ignore people than respond when they reach out. But this disappearing act, or "ghosting" as it's become commonly known, also happens to therapists quite often. Here, four clinicians share their stories.

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Shoplifting: An Important (and Neglected) Clinical Issue

The Seven Types of People Who Shoplift and Why They Do It

Terrence Daryl Shulman • 6/20/2017 • 1 Comment

By Terrence Daryl Shulman - The American Society of Employers reports that 20 percent of every dollar earned by an American company is lost to employee theft, to the tune of $53 billion per year. Most shoplifters steal out of feelings of anger, loss, disempowerment, and entitlement, and many become addicted. So why is this an important—and neglected—issue for clinicians and others in the mental health fields?

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VIDEO: Diane Ackerman on the Unprecedented Challenges of the "Human Age"

The World is Changing. But at What Cost?

Diane Ackerman • 4/12/2017 • 1 Comment

Between new developments in science, technology, and medicine, we live in exciting times. But according to poet, essayist, and naturalist Diane Ackerman, these advancements also come at the expense of our environment's health, and our mental health. In this video clip from her Networker Symposium keynote, she describes the unprecedented changes we're encountering, and explains what therapists can do to help us meet the new demands of a chaotic world.

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