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The Unlived Lives of Parents

A Mindful Exercise for Healing Old Wounds

Susan Pollak

By Susan Pollak - Becoming a parent gives us a chance to grow by attending to old wounds, including many that we may have forgotten. The aim is not to deny our history, but to understand it and develop a new relationship with it, bringing self-compassion to ourselves in those moments when we lose it. Here's a seven-step process that can help.

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VIDEO: Helping Teen Clients Make Good Decisions

...And What to Do When They Talk About Risky Behavior

Britt Rathbone

Networker’s Lauren Dockett talks with teen therapist Britt Rathbone about navigating the tricky issues of confidentiality, risky behavior, and improving teen judgment and self-control.

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April Quandary: My Teenage Client’s Parents Say He’s Depressed, But He Disagrees!

Five Clinicians Give Their Take

Chris Lyford

By Chris Lyford - Fourteen-year-old client Tyler’s parents brought him to therapy because they say he rarely engages with classmates or teachers, isn’t interested in extracurriculars, and heads straight to his room after school to play video games. They worry he’s depressed, but he’s mostly responsive in therapy and insists he’s happy. Here's how five therapists say they'd proceed.

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Transforming Kids' Problem Behaviors into Skills

This Impressive Approach Puts Them in the Driver's Seat

Ben Furman and Liu Haiying

By Ben Furman and Liu Haiying - Kids’Skills is a solution-focused and child-friendly approach to helping children overcome emotional and behavioral problems. Here, the therapist focuses on solutions, skills, and existing strengths, rather than the more traditional “problem-focused” interventions that have been already tried with little success.

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Life Without Father

A Son Looks for Answers from a Stoic Parent Back from War

Frank Pittman

By Frank Pittman - Even though I knew I wanted to be a father when I grew up, I didn’t know exactly what skills were required. We of the ’40s and ’50s grew up with fathers who were off at war or at work, and who weren’t part of the family even when they were at home. We were essentially fatherless.

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My Father's Ranch

A Daughter Wrestles with Bittersweet Memories and a New, Looming Threat

Alicia Muñoz

By Alicia Muñoz - Sometimes family legacies can stir up complicated feelings and outright conflict.

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A New Year's Conundrum

A Stumped Therapist's Attempt to Help Two Parents Set Boundaries Has a Surprising Result

Ron Taffel

By Ron Taffel - At 15, Jenny regularly breaks her curfew, flirts with drugs, and is getting close to being suspended from her Manhattan public school. Today, she and her parents are in my office discussing the latest issue: New Year’s Eve is coming up, and Jenny and her posse have plans.

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The Grandparenting Trainwreck

A Special Story from Our Family Matters Department

Jeanne Mills

By Jeanne Mills - Becoming a grandparent hasn't been easy—there've been numerous slip-ups—but I've learned a few lessons well.

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When Doing Nothing is Everything

Especially with Kids, Learning to Slow Down Is a Precious Gift

Alicia Muñoz

Alicia Muñoz - When I got sick, something amazing happened: I let go of my agenda. Poof—just like that. In the process, I learned there’s nothing more important than doing nothing for extended periods of time, particularly with your child. It’s easy to overlook nondoing as an important activity—or as an important inactivity.

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VIDEO: How to Talk to Your Kids About Love

...And The 60-Second "Truth Bomb" Exercise to Get You Started

Alexandra Solomon

When it comes to talking about love and relationships with young adult children, too many parents are silent. But research shows that the vast majority of young adults want to hear guidance and wisdom from parents and older role models. In the following interview, couples therapist and author Alexandra Solomon shares a few ways to get started.

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