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Erotic Intelligence

Reconciling Sensuality and Domesticity

Esther Perel

America, in matters of sex as in much else, is a goal-oriented society that prefers explicit meanings, candor, and "plain speech" to ambiguity and allusion, the former encouraged by many therapists in their patients. But I often suggest an alternative with my clients: "There's so much direct talk already in the everyday conversations couples have with each other," I tell them. "If you want to create more passion in your relationship, why don't you play a little more with the natural ambiguity of gesture and words, and the rich nuances inherent in communication."

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The Unlived Lives of Parents

A Mindful Exercise for Healing Old Wounds

Susan Pollak

By Susan Pollak - Becoming a parent gives us a chance to grow by attending to old wounds, including many that we may have forgotten. The aim is not to deny our history, but to understand it and develop a new relationship with it, bringing self-compassion to ourselves in those moments when we lose it. Here's a seven-step process that can help.

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The Mentor Who Changed My Therapy Practice

…And How Two Little Words Changed Everything

Chris Lyford

By Chris Lyford - While therapeutic skill is the product of years of practice and self-determination, most clinicians need a mentor: someone who takes them under their wing and inspires them to be a better therapist. The five clinicians whose stories you’re about to read all agree on one thing: seeing how their mentors practice left an indelible mark on their personal and professional development that still resonates today.

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VIDEO: The Biggest Threat to Remarried Boomers

Helping Partners Deal with Stepfamilies

Patricia Papernow

Successfully combining families as part of remarriage is always challenging. But it's especially hard when older re-couplers have adult children, who may or may not be onboard with the new marriage, and extended networks of decades-long relationships that need to be included in the picture.

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How I Came to Rethink Children’s Challenging Behaviors

Doing Away with the Blame Game

Mona Delahooke

By Mona Delahooke - What’s at the root of children’s aggressive, defiant, and oppositional acts? And how can we better help the children who exhibit these behaviors? Polyvagal Theory shows that the drive to avoid threat and secure safety is what guides human behavior. As such, what we often label as “bad” behaviors are actually fight-or-flight behaviors.

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Treating Self-Harm

Here's a Behavioral Contract That Clients Can Follow

Lisa Ferentz

By Lisa Ferentz - I used to think that repetitive self-injury could only be seen as pathological, and through contracts and other means tried to convince my clients that this behavior would only cause more problems. Now, I know that my job isn't to browbeat clients into change, but introduce them to healthier behaviors that bring the relief cutting often provides.

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Beating Back-to-School Anxiety

Three Therapists Share Stories and Tips

Chris Lyford

By Chris Lyford - Back-to-school season can be one of the most stressful periods of the year for a child, no matter what age. From making new friends to handling a new workload, the challenges that come with the new school year are plentiful. Here, three veteran therapists, all of whom know quite a bit about back-to-school anxieties, share the clinical lessons they learned—and a few stories.

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Caught in a Web

A World Where Life is Always Elsewhere

Fred Wistow

By Fred Wistow - Every day, every moment, we must wade through the flood of incoming alerts and emails urgently demanding our time and attention, all the while knowing that there’s an infinite ocean of stuff online that waits for us at all hours to stick our toe in so that it may then slowly begin to swallow us up . . . until we drown.

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Saving My Younger Self

Black Therapists Rock Member Profile

Psychotherapy Networker

Therapists who grew up in the communities of color they serve often have the social capital and particular wisdom to better understand clients’ core needs and make therapy accessible and meaningful. Here, Black Therapists Rock member Nicole Thompson takes us on her own journey from a Philly kid steeped in adversity, to an urban school psychologist who’s gone back to the old neighborhood and found her calling.

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July Quandary: I’m Feeling Burned Out!

Five Clinicians Give Their Advice

Chris Lyford

By Chris Lyford - Recently, a therapist has found herself losing steam. She mentally checks out when clients are talking, and constantly feels exhausted. She worries this burnout could be affecting her work, and is looking for some good, realistic forms of self-care beyond just taking a vacation or going to the spa. Here, five therapists offer their advice.

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