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“You Should Know What I Need”

A Simple Exercise to Help Couples Avoid the Assumption Trap

By Alicia Muñoz - Satisfying our needs is a gift our partners give us. Being responsible calls for a willingness to ask clearly and vulnerably for what we want, and to tolerate disappointment.

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The Inner Selfie

A Technique for Guiding Young People Toward Self Discovery

By Tobi Goldfus - When I use the term Inner Selfie with my young clients, it seems to resonate. What is an Inner Selfie? It’s simply a way of talking about our internal sense of self, our inner strength and wisdom. It can help young clients down-regulate, guide them to inhabit their body, and teach them self-reflection. Here are five ways to introduce the Inner Selfie.

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VIDEO: Susan Johnson on Restoring the Spark

Finding Your "Secure Base"

How can therapists help couples stuck in cycles of shame, hurt, and anger get back to a healthy, loving relationship? Couples therapist Susan Johnson uses the example of her clients Frank and Sylvie to explain how, by establishing what she refers to as "secure base," they restored both an emotional and physical spark to their relationship.

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The Wonder of an Unexpected Alliance

A Therapist's Surprise Connection with Her Client

By Christina Emanuel - Ryan’s reputation arrived before he did: brilliant, oppositional, angry, a general pain in the butt, and autistic. Over the years, he certainly tried my patience and tested my commitment to him. But one day, a few years into his treatment, Ryan noticed a shift in me that helped me redefine what he's capable of, and what we're capable of together.

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The Myths About Male Sexuality

Esther Perel on Challenging the Definitional Void of Manhood

By Esther Perel - At this moment in our society, we’re experiencing a reckoning in the relationships between men and women, in the relationships between gender and anatomy, and in the relationships between sex and power. As therapists, we have a unique role at this moment. We need to help create a culture where men can express their needs in more than just the masculine code.

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What Self-Care Means to Me

Three Therapists Share What Keeps Them Afloat

By Chris Lyford - Certainly, most psychotherapists love what they do, but the work can also be isolating, overwhelming, emotionally draining, and relentless—sometimes, all at once! In these moments, practicing self-care isn’t just important, it’s essential to making sure we bring our best selves to our work. But what does self-care look like, exactly? Here, three therapists share what it means to them.

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The Networker App is FREE for subscribers!

Take Years of Issues Wherever You Go!

The Networker magazine app is available on all your mobile devices! It features current issues, archives of past issues, videos, and blogs!

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VIDEO: The Power of Predictability

The Cornerstone of a Strong Therapeutic Alliance

Providing familiarity and predictability is one of our greatest tools in therapy, and can provide much-needed comfort to clients who aren't used to it. According to Martha Straus, an expert in working with kids and teens, young people need this familiarity the most, especially when they've survived trauma. Here, she explains how to model it in your work.

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December Quandary: Addressing Vicarious Trauma

Five Clinicians Weigh In

By Chris Lyford - A new client who survived a harrowing car crash is going through a deep depression. When she recounts her story, her therapist feels unusually affected, as if she’s reliving the event with her. She’s not sure how to deal with the vicarious trauma. Here, five therapists offer their advice.

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The Reassurance Trap

Living with Uncertainly

By Martin Seif and Sally Winston - We can’t guarantee certainty about anything, really. But some of us become haunted by needing to know for sure. We call this unrelenting need the Reassurance Trap. Here's a strategy for getting out of it.

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VIDEO: Rick Hanson on the Healing Power of Refuge

Focusing on the People, Places, and Activities that Give Us Sanctuary

A Networker Symposium highlight, Rick Hanson, psychologist and bestselling author, invoked the spirit of Mr. Rogers to help attendees better acknowledge their connection with each other and savor their most inspiring experiences.

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A New Year's Conundrum

A Stumped Therapist's Attempt to Help Two Parents Set Boundaries Has a Surprising Result

By Ron Taffel - At 15, Jenny regularly breaks her curfew, flirts with drugs, and is getting close to being suspended from her Manhattan public school. Today, she and her parents are in my office discussing the latest issue: New Year’s Eve is coming up, and Jenny and her posse have plans.

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The Cure Myth

We Need to Start Treating Anxiety and Depression as Chronic Conditions

By Margaret Wehrenberg - I’ve begun to put aside my idealized view that unless people overcome their difficulties once and for all, therapy is somehow a failure. Evidence continues to accumulate that many people who have anxiety and depression suffer bouts of it all their lives, even after a good response to therapy.

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VIDEO: The Self-Compassion Approach to Trauma Treatment

Creative Strategies That Dig Deeper

It’s important to honor all of your client’s inner parts in therapy. But accessing them to fully engage in healing work isn’t always easy. Here, trauma therapist Lisa Ferentz explains her creative approach for helping clients access these tough-to-reach inner parts.

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How Do Neuroscience and Therapy Mix?

Knowing About the Brain Can Actually Change It

By Bonnie Badenoch - Initially, it can seem like a huge leap to link abstruse and complicated brain science to the relational world of therapy. But, some day, it may seem absurd that we didn't study the processes we're expected to treat. Once my clients understand where their brain wiring is underdeveloped, they become eager to do whatever it takes to build better neural connections.

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When Your Client Drops a Last-Minute Bombshell

Four Common Scenarios and How to Handle Them

By Daniela Gitlin - When clients drop “bombshells” in the last few minutes of a session, it can be hard to end on time. Here's a framework for not only handling these unexpected moments, but welcoming them.

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My Nightmare Client, My Greatest Gift

Sometimes Our "Worst" Clients Are Our Best Teachers

By Martha Straus - My young client, Brian, can reduce even confident mid-life adults to an infantile puddle, one provocative comment at a time. He's a therapist's nightmare. But he’s also the universe's gift to me. He measures my commitment to the work, to him, to my ideas about therapy, to my best self.

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VIDEO: Richard Schwartz on Healing Our Wounded Inner Parts

The Originator of IFS on Helping Clients Awaken Self-Healing

Internal Family Systems (IFS) has allowed therapists to awaken the capacity for deep self-healing within even their most troubled clients. In this video clip from his 2015 Symposium keynote, Richard Schwartz, the originator of IFS, explains the transformative power of connecting with our wounded inner parts.

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November Quandary: How Do I Bring Up My Client’s Rigid Perfectionism?

Five Clinicians Weigh In

By Chris Lyford - A client sees his perfectionism as an advantage, even though it ramps up his anxiety, exacerbates his sense of shame, and keeps him living a very rigid life. He brushes off his therapist every time she brings it up. Five therapists weigh in with how they'd respond.

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Selfcarefully

Self-Care Shifts toward Authenticity

By Gracy Obuchowicz - In my years of working with myself and my clients around self-care, I’ve learned that there is no such thing as perfect self-care. Instead, I’ve found authentic self-care, which is anything but perfect.

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VIDEO: Jack Kornfield on True Healing

Creating an Invitation for Connection

In this clip from his Networker Symposium keynote address, Jack Kornfield shares how to embody a fuller spiritual wisdom in your work with clients to heal difficult emotions, create calm focus, and connect deeply with others.

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VIDEO: Gabor Maté on Expanding Our Vision for Mental Health Care

Treating a Social Malaise

According to physician and author Gabor Maté, too many healthcare professionals take a biological, individualized approach to treating mental health issues, like anxiety, depression, and addiction, that fails to account for myriad environmental factors. In this clip from his Networker Symposium keynote address, he makes the case for a more expansive form of care.

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Creating Parent Communities

A Group Therapy Approach for Struggling Parents

By David Flohr - With my ParentCircle therapy model, I help parents find a “place of their own,” where they can learn about themselves and their children, get active support, and slowly be reminded of their natural connection with other adults.

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Therapy with Teenage Girls

The Seven Transitions into Adulthood

By Ryan Howes - In the following interview, New York Times columnist and author Lisa Damour gives us a glimpse at the map she’s developed for both therapists and parents trying to help teenage girls make their way through the treacherous, often bewildering landscape of adolescence in today’s world.

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Helping People Pleasers Set Boundaries

…And What to Do When It Backfires

Alicia Muñoz - Boundaries bind. They limit, stop, and inhibit. But they also free people up to be themselves. In couples where one partner is a people-pleaser, things can get even more complicated.

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