Topic - Sex & Sexuality

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We've gathered Psychotherapy Networkers most popular posts and arranged them here by topic.

Why Emotional Safety is the Defining Feature of Good Sex

Susan Johnson on Infusing Sex with Emotion and Attachment

Susan Johnson

By Susan Johnson - Passion is about so much more than responding to novel stimuli or ramped-up lust. In the dance of sex, passion can be constantly renewed, not simply by finding more exotic sexual positions, but by changing the level of our engagement in the moment and with our lover. If we really understand love, we can also understand how to shape lasting passion.

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Helping Parents Rekindle the Erotic Spark

Why Does Parenthood Deliver Such a Fatal Blow to Intimacy?

Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - The transition from two to three is one of the most profound challenges a couple will ever face. Family life flourishes in an atmosphere of comfort and consistency. Yet unpredictability, spontaneity, and risk are precisely where eroticism resides. Eros is a force that doesn't like to be constrained. When it settles into repetition, habit, or rules, it touches its death.

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Helping Older Couples Achieve "Good Enough" Sex

Teaching the Concept of Sexual Teamwork

Michael Metz

By Michael Metz - For the majority of middle-aged and older men experiencing problems getting and/or maintaining their erections, the drugs being promoted in the media are hardly a panacea. We've found that helping couples deal with erectile problems and other sexual realities brought on by the aging process has as much or more to do with their psychological and relational lives as it does with their physiological capacities.

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VIDEO: Susan Johnson on the Link Between Sex and Safety

How a "Secure Base" Promotes Sexual Exploration

Susan Johnson

What does it take to restore physical intimacy to a failing relationship? In this video clip, Susan Johnson, the originator of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, uses bonding science to explain the one condition every relationship needs in order to repair emotional hurt and restore satisfying sex. Take a moment to watch this clip. You'll be glad you did.

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Helping Struggling Couples Find Their Sexual Style

A Guide to the Four Types: Traditional, Soulmate, Emotionally Expressive, Complementary

Barry McCarthy

By Barry McCarthy - What is a sexual style? It has to do with recognizing how different elements of a couple's sexual experience form a pattern—their way of initiating sex, how they pleasure each other and engage in erotic scenarios, the role of intercourse in their lovemaking, the afterplay scenarios they prefer, and the meaning sex has for them and its place in their relationship. In my clinical work, the vast majority of couples tend to fall within one of four styles.

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Why Do We Find Sexuality Scary?

Uncovering the Sexual Secrets We Keep from Ourselves

Michael Ventura

By Michael Ventura - Sexuality is scary because it's where we meet ourselves most directly, without filters, without verbiage, and, if we go far enough, without fixed roles. It's where we meet ourselves with and through the Other—this Other with whom we journey into the realm; this Other, a partner as fluid we are.

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Affair Repair

Two Contradictions That Can Help Couples on the Brink Restore Connection

Michele Weiner-Davis

By Michele Weiner-Davis - Couples therapy can be difficult and dicey, especially when there’s an affair in the mix. To keep afloat in the emotional tumult, most therapists cling to certain hard-and-fast rules that form the foundation of their work. One therapist learns some surprising lessons when she reevaluates those tenets.

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VIDEO: Julie Gottman on Making Couples' Life Dreams Come True

The Importance of Creating "Shared Meaning"

Julie Gottman

According to renowned couples therapist Julie Gottman, one of the main predictors of a romantic relationship's success or failure is how well partners can dialogue about their differences. In the following clip from her 2015 Networker Symposium keynote, Gottman explains what a healthy dialogue looks like, and how it fosters "shared meaning."

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Fearless Foursome

The Women's Project Prepares to Pass the Torch

Rich Simon

By Rich Simon - For two decades, the members of the Women’s Project in Family Therapy were the outspoken feminist conscience of psychotherapy and, with their humor and warm camaraderie, became beloved role models in a field that had long been dominated by male leaders.

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What Makes Romantic Partners Compatible?

Are You an Explorer, Builder, Director, or Negotiator?

Helen Fisher

By Helen Fisher - Psychologists have determined that men and women tend to fall in love with individuals from the same ethnic and socioeconomic background; with those of a similar level of intelligence, education and physical attractiveness. But how two individual personalities match up remains unknown. My work investigates the biology of personality, and how it determines compatibility.

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