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VIDEO: Terry Real Shares His Most Memorable Therapeutic Moment

The Found and the Lost

Terry Real • 3/7/2018

Many people wonder how therapists manage to do the work they do. Of the thousands of meaningful sessions that take place in a therapist’s office, certain ones stand out. In the following video from the 2016 Symposium, renowned couples therapist Terry Real shares a memorable moment from his own work.

Daily Blog
How Infant Attachment Security Affects Adult Relationships
Copyright:
1/17/2018
Authors:
LINDA CURRAN, BCPC, LPC, CACD, CCDPD
 
SUSAN JOHNSON, ED.D.
 
PETER A. LEVINE, PH.D.
 
BESSEL A VAN DER KOLK, M.D.
 
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
 
DIANE POOLE HELLER, PHD
 
LOUIS COZOLINO, PH.D.
 
LANCE DODES, M.D.
 
LISA FERENTZ, LCSW-C, DAPA
 
GABOR MATÉ, MD
Product:
RNV053885

Should You Take Sides in Couples Therapy?

Why Psychotherapy's Views on Male Intimacy Need to Change

Terry Real • 12/1/2017

By Terry Real - The pressure to be hard, logical, independent, and stoic all too often sets men up to be emotionally distant, arrogant, and numb to their own feelings. These aren't pathological aberrations; they're the defining characteristics of manhood in our culture. That's why I break one of marital therapy's cardinal rules. I side with the woman.

Daily Blog

The Resurgence of Patriarchy

Terry Real Explains Why Now, More Than Ever, We Need to Leave Neutrality Behind

Terry Real • 9/25/2017

By Terry Real - Factions of men and women these days are feeling a powerful pull toward many of the notions of traditional masculinity. What we’re witnessing is a reassertion of its most difficult and harmful traits. And yet we psychotherapists, as a field, have remained largely silent about this resurgence, hamstrung by an ethical code that prohibits diagnosis or clinical discussion of public figures from afar. But is neutrality in these times really in our clients’ best interests?

Daily Blog
NEW Live Clinical Demonstrations with Real Couples
Copyright:
9/21/2017
Author:
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
Product:
RNV048722

The Long Shadow of Patriarchy

Couples Therapy in the Age of Trump

Terry Real • 9/7/2017

The election of Donald Trump and the resurgence of populism throughout the West were fueled by a renewed pull toward certain notions of traditional masculinity. Although therapists have remained largely silent about this revival of patriarchy in the culture, is neutrality really in the best interests of our clients?

Magazine Article
Proven approaches for attachment issues, addiction, abuse & more
Copyright:
6/20/2017
Authors:
SUSAN JOHNSON, ED.D.
 
DANIEL J SIEGEL, M.D.
 
KATHRYN RHEEM, ED.D.
 
TAMMY NELSON, PHD
 
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
Product:
NRS001192
Type:
$649.94 USD     $299.99
When Is Enough Enough?
Copyright:
3/25/2017
Author:
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
Product:
RNV052870

Why Neutrality Is Sabotaging Couples Therapy

Sometimes Taking Sides Gets to the Heart of Conflict

Terry Real • 11/18/2016

By Terry Real - My own experience as a couples therapist has taught me that we aren't doing clients a favor by soft-pedaling difficult issues, despite what my early supervisors tried to instill in me. More than adopting any particular methodology of change, we can be far more direct and challenging to the clients who come to us than we've previously acknowledged. By and large, people are neither fragile nor stupid. If you show them how they're getting in their own way and what behaving more skillfully looks like, they'll be grateful.

Daily Blog
Copyright:
10/4/2016
Authors:
RICHARD SIMON, PH.D.
 
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
 
PAT LOVE, ED.D.
 
HARVILLE HENDRIX, PH.D.
 
HELEN LAKELLY HUNT, PH.D.
 
DAVID SCHNARCH, PH.D.
Product:
NRS001142
Type:
$389.99 USD     $199.99
Page 1 of 3 (22 Items)
How Infant Attachment Security Affects Adult Relationships
Copyright:
1/17/2018
Authors:
LINDA CURRAN, BCPC, LPC, CACD, CCDPD
 
SUSAN JOHNSON, ED.D.
 
PETER A. LEVINE, PH.D.
 
BESSEL A VAN DER KOLK, M.D.
 
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
 
DIANE POOLE HELLER, PHD
 
LOUIS COZOLINO, PH.D.
 
LANCE DODES, M.D.
 
LISA FERENTZ, LCSW-C, DAPA
 
GABOR MATÉ, MD
Product:
RNV053885
NEW Live Clinical Demonstrations with Real Couples
Copyright:
9/21/2017
Author:
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
Product:
RNV048722
Proven approaches for attachment issues, addiction, abuse & more
Copyright:
6/20/2017
Authors:
SUSAN JOHNSON, ED.D.
 
DANIEL J SIEGEL, M.D.
 
KATHRYN RHEEM, ED.D.
 
TAMMY NELSON, PHD
 
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
Product:
NRS001192
Type:
$649.94 USD     $299.99
When Is Enough Enough?
Copyright:
3/25/2017
Author:
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
Product:
RNV052870
Copyright:
10/4/2016
Authors:
RICHARD SIMON, PH.D.
 
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
 
PAT LOVE, ED.D.
 
HARVILLE HENDRIX, PH.D.
 
HELEN LAKELLY HUNT, PH.D.
 
DAVID SCHNARCH, PH.D.
Product:
NRS001142
Type:
$389.99 USD     $199.99
Navigating New Norms about Intimacy, Sexuality, Personal Freedom and the Purpose of Marriage
Copyright:
7/1/2015
Authors:
JOHN M. GOTTMAN, PH.D.
 
JULIE GOTTMAN, PH.D.
 
RICHARD SIMON, PH.D.
 
STEVEN L JOHNSON, JD
 
ESTHER PEREL, MA, LMFT
 
MICHELE WEINER-DAVIS, MSW
 
SUZANNE IASENZA, PHD
 
WILLIAM DOHERTY, PH.D.
 
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
 
TAMMY NELSON, PHD
Product:
NRC095867
Type:
$39.99 USD
Copyright:
4/17/2015
Authors:
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
 
ESTHER PEREL, MA, LMFT
Product:
RNV048415
Copyright:
3/21/2014
Authors:
MARY JO BARRETT, MSW
 
DON MEICHENBAUM, PH.D.
 
JOHN BRIERE, PH.D.
 
JANINA FISHER, PH.D.
 
PAT LOVE, ED.D.
 
HARVILLE HENDRIX, PH.D.
 
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
 
HELEN LAKELLY HUNT, PH.D.
 
DAVID SCHNARCH, PH.D.
 
SUSAN JOHNSON, ED.D.
 
MARLENE BEST, PH.D.
 
PETER A. LEVINE, PH.D.
 
DAVID GRAND, PH.D.
 
BESSEL A VAN DER KOLK, M.D.
 
DANIEL J SIEGEL, M.D.
 
BARBARA FREDRICKSON, PH.D.
Product:
RVKIT051230
Type:
$589.92 USD     $299.99
Copyright:
3/21/2014
Authors:
PAT LOVE, ED.D.
 
HARVILLE HENDRIX, PH.D.
 
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
 
HELEN LAKELLY HUNT, PH.D.
 
DAVID SCHNARCH, PH.D.
Product:
RNV047020
Type:
$59.99 USD     $18.00 USD
New Ways to Work Effectively with Your Most Challenging Clients
Copyright:
1/1/2012
Authors:
TERRENCE REAL, LICSW
 
RICHARD SCHWARTZ, PHD
 
WENDY T. BEHARY, MSW, LCSW
 
CLIFTON MITCHELL, PHD
 
JOYANNA SILBERG, PHD
 
WILLIAM DOHERTY, PH.D.
 
CLOE MADANES, HDL, LIC
Product:
NRC095865
Type:
$39.99 USD
Page 1 of 1 (10 Items)

VIDEO: Terry Real Shares His Most Memorable Therapeutic Moment

The Found and the Lost

Terry Real • 3/7/2018

Many people wonder how therapists manage to do the work they do. Of the thousands of meaningful sessions that take place in a therapist’s office, certain ones stand out. In the following video from the 2016 Symposium, renowned couples therapist Terry Real shares a memorable moment from his own work.

Daily Blog

Should You Take Sides in Couples Therapy?

Why Psychotherapy's Views on Male Intimacy Need to Change

Terry Real • 12/1/2017

By Terry Real - The pressure to be hard, logical, independent, and stoic all too often sets men up to be emotionally distant, arrogant, and numb to their own feelings. These aren't pathological aberrations; they're the defining characteristics of manhood in our culture. That's why I break one of marital therapy's cardinal rules. I side with the woman.

Daily Blog

The Resurgence of Patriarchy

Terry Real Explains Why Now, More Than Ever, We Need to Leave Neutrality Behind

Terry Real • 9/25/2017

By Terry Real - Factions of men and women these days are feeling a powerful pull toward many of the notions of traditional masculinity. What we’re witnessing is a reassertion of its most difficult and harmful traits. And yet we psychotherapists, as a field, have remained largely silent about this resurgence, hamstrung by an ethical code that prohibits diagnosis or clinical discussion of public figures from afar. But is neutrality in these times really in our clients’ best interests?

Daily Blog

Why Neutrality Is Sabotaging Couples Therapy

Sometimes Taking Sides Gets to the Heart of Conflict

Terry Real • 11/18/2016

By Terry Real - My own experience as a couples therapist has taught me that we aren't doing clients a favor by soft-pedaling difficult issues, despite what my early supervisors tried to instill in me. More than adopting any particular methodology of change, we can be far more direct and challenging to the clients who come to us than we've previously acknowledged. By and large, people are neither fragile nor stupid. If you show them how they're getting in their own way and what behaving more skillfully looks like, they'll be grateful.

Daily Blog

The Power of Honesty in Couples Therapy

Terry Real on Why Relational Life Therapy Works

Terry Real • 5/10/2016

By Terry Real - The approach I've developed, Relationship Life Therapy (RLT), is based on the premise that it's disrespectful to clients not to let them in on the truth about what we witness regularly in our offices as they play out their relationships in front of us: the ways they deal with their partners are often self-centered, unfeeling, and counterproductive. I believe that in order to teach our clients how to be authentic and connected, we must be real with them ourselves.

Daily Blog

Rowing to Nowhere

When is Enough Enough?

Terry Real • 10/21/2015

We spend countless hours focused on how best to keep couples together, but rarely pay much attention to how to best help them split up. And we spend even less time examining how our own emotional reactions can influence their decision about whether to divorce.

Daily Blog

Putting Divorce on the Table in Couples Therapy

How to Tell When Splitting Up is the Best Option for a Failing Marriage

Terry Real • 7/10/2015

Some marriages' endings have broken my heart, made me look hard at my technique, and wonder what I might have done differently. But when I believed the couple, the therapy, and even the children were better served by the partners’ letting go, I’ve breathed a sigh of relief. In other words, I don’t see my job as stitching every couple together no matter what. Sometimes, in fact, my job turns out not to be forestalling the dissolution of a family, but facilitating it.

Daily Blog
Page 1 of 1 (7 Items)

The Long Shadow of Patriarchy

Couples Therapy in the Age of Trump

Terry Real • 9/7/2017

The election of Donald Trump and the resurgence of populism throughout the West were fueled by a renewed pull toward certain notions of traditional masculinity. Although therapists have remained largely silent about this revival of patriarchy in the culture, is neutrality really in the best interests of our clients?

Magazine Article

Rowing to Nowhere

When is Enough Enough?

Terry Real • 7/1/2015

We spend countless hours focused on how best to keep couples together, but rarely pay much attention to how to best help them split up. And we spend even less time examining how our own emotional reactions can influence their decision about whether to divorce.

Magazine Article

Joining Through The Truth

Coaching and Our Assumptions

Terry Real • 11/1/2012

A new breed of therapist believes that it’s disrespectful not to say to clients displaying obnoxious, selfish, or self-defeating behaviors what traditionalists might only share in a supervision group.

Magazine Article

A Matter Of Choice

Deciding: to be Right or be Married?

Terry Real • 11/1/2011

Do you want to be right or be married? Okay, now pause, think, breathe . . . and choose between First Consciousness and Second Consciousness.


Magazine Article

The Awful Truth

Most Men Are Just Not Raised to be Intimate

Terry Real • 11/1/2002

After the publication of my book, I Don't Want to Talk about It, I started getting calls from people around the United States who wanted help. Naming the issue of "covert depression" in men seemed to have struck a chord. Some of the calls were from men, but most were from women who were at the end of their rope, having already dragged their partners to therapy, veterans of at least one, most often several, failed courses of couples work.

Magazine Article
Page 1 of 1 (5 Items)
Terry Real, LICSW, is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author. Terry is the best-selling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner, 1997), the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women (Scribner, 2002), and most recently The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work (Random House). Terry knows how to lead couples on a step-by-step- journey to greater intimacy – and greater personal fulfillment.

Terry founded the Relational Life Institute (RLI), offering workshops for couples, individuals and parents around the country along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy) methodology.

A senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts for twenty years, and a retired Clinical Fellow of the Meadows Institute in Arizona, Terry has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and fellow therapists. Through his books, the Institute, and workshops around the country, Terry helps women and men, parents and non-parents, to create the connection they desire in their relationships.