Many traditional approaches to couples therapy are built on the assumption that if you help a couple clear up the emotional issues in their relationship, sex will automatically get better.
But it doesn’t always seem to work that way.
According to therapist and bestselling author Esther Perel, a couple’s sexual issues frequently have their roots in the erotic blocks, family history, or shame of individual partners.
Here, Perel explains how she helps couples break out of stale sexual routines, reignite desire, and reclaim a vibrant erotic life.
Notice how Esther introduces the topic of sex—not as the most important element in the relationship—but as one of many dimensions essential to a vibrant, intimate partnership. Her use of language gives a couple new ways to talk about sex, desire, and eroticism.
Because couples today want long term intimate partnerships that combine commitment and safety with sexual vitality and erotic exploration, a therapist’s ability to talk about these topics easily is essential.
Esther Perel
Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her international bestseller Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence became a global phenomenon translated into more than 30 languages. Her newest book is the New York Times bestseller The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity (HarperCollins). She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an AASECT certified sex therapist, a member of the American Family Therapy Academy and of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast “Where Should We Begin?” which is available on Apple Podcasts. Her latest project is “Where Should We Begin – A Game of Stories with Esther Perel.” Learn more at EstherPerel.com.
Rich Simon
Richard Simon, PhD, founded Psychotherapy Networker and served as the editor for more than 40 years. He received every major magazine industry honor, including the National Magazine Award. Rich passed away November 2020, and we honor his memory and contributions to the field every day.
