Therapists may not don red capes, or thwart bank robberies, or travel faster than a speeding bullet, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t superheroes in our own right. We occupy a special place in the world, one that separates us from nearly all other professions. Like any caped crusader, we’re helpers. In our case, we rescue people from emotional peril when few else will answer the call.
And we have our own superhero’s trusty utility belt—our modalities, frameworks, theories, interventions, and intentions, which we can strategically deploy in the face of awful anxiety, dastardly depression, treacherous trauma, sneaky shame, and slippery self-doubt.
But the truth is we may not always feel like superheroes, especially when our connection with clients gets frayed or we’re on the edge of burnout. Perhaps that’s when it’s time to remember a few of the ways we continue to stay strong and put our superpowers to work every day!
Stretching to Fit the Situation
Different clients need different things. And when you’re seeing clients back-to-back, the mood and issues you’ll face can shift at a moment’s notice. Like Elastigirl from The Incredibles, therapists can instantly stretch and shift when responding to clients’ emotions. And they do it all while drawing from myriad tools, skills, and observations.
We might go from helping a teenager explore his depression in one session to helping a business manager speak confidently in the next. We might see parents, siblings, couples, or thruples. We might help someone role-play coming out to their mom in one session, then jump right into another session where we’re coaching a belligerent dad on how to keep calm. Yes, the diversity of this work can be fulfilling, but the variability requires that we be continuously alert and ever-flexible.
Assessing Situations with Alacrity
Most people mired in a concerning situation or conflict are naturally myopic. One of the powers that an objective observer like a therapist can bring to the table is a bird’s-eye view of the situation. By stepping back and considering the context, we can come up with more informed solutions.
While a friend or family member might provide some helpful perspective, therapists are better suited to the task, as they regularly rise above conflicts to get the bigger picture. We recognize clients’ patterns, take note of symptoms that could inform a diagnosis, and stay attuned to potential problems that could ensue if the client continues on their trajectory. We may not have ESP or a crystal ball, but we do have special skills that allow us to assess situations calmly, carefully, and objectively.
Weaving a Powerful Web of Knowledge
Just like Spiderman, we have webs at our fingertips—webs of knowledge, that is. We can deploy psychoeducation at a moment’s notice. But we can deploy something much simpler but no less significant: all the interwoven details we hold about a client’s life.
We can remember the name of a client’s family member, or the fine details about a recent loss, or a song that brings them to tears. We hold on to the metaphors our clients use, their bucket lists and dreams, the places they’ve lived, and the company they keep. The little, random details we remember are expansive, and this remembering is a significant superpower that helps us connect with clients in authentic, meaningful ways. Yes, notes may help us refresh our memories from time to time, but most of us could probably create a detailed genogram for any client we’ve seen for a while.
As impressive as this might be, it can also be daunting to hold so much information about our clients’ private lives. As Spiderman’s Uncle Ben once said, “With great power comes great responsibility.”
Wielding a Lasso of Truth
We hope our clients will be open and honest with us in sessions, but research shows that dishonesty is quite rampant in therapy. Wonder Woman wielded the Lasso of Truth, which magically compelled people to tell the truth. We don’t, can’t, and shouldn’t have this power, yet we aim to create an environment that’s safe, nurturing, accepting, and positive, which fosters trust and truthfulness on its own.
When we learn that a client has been dishonest, we tend to respond differently than others in their life: often, we’re much more interested in the reason for the fib than in shaming the client or getting defensive. We understand that people respond best to compassion and gentleness. And we know that some clients need to move more slowly than others when opening up, which requires us to be patient and persistent.
It might be more accurate to call what we have The Lasso of Dedicated Space, which helps us create an environment where clients can feel comfortable being their authentic selves.
Being a Time-Keeper Extraordinaire
Many professions follow strict schedules, but therapists have an interesting and complex relationship with time. Most of us have developed a fairly accurate sense of how many issues we might cover in a single session, when to practice a new set of skills, or whether we have the time to provide more multifaceted feedback about a particular issue. We might ask a complex question at the start of a session but then glance at the clock later on to decide whether we have enough time to delve even further.
In some sessions, time seems to move slowly, which can be either torturous or terrific. Meanwhile, other sessions feel so speedy that, by the end, much feels unfinished or undiscovered. There are myriad factors that impact the speed of the session, including the client’s personality, emotional openness, communication style, comfort level, and the stage of the work. But like the Flash, who darts quickly to-and-fro, we’re often using time constraints as a means of figuring out how to maximize our impact.
Casting Spells of Self-Care
Although we do need our boundaries, it’s often that we do our best work when we’re immersed in it. But the longer we’re immersed in it, the more we tend to feel fatigued and strained. Just as Hermione Granger from Harry Potter was a magical prodigy who could conjure up a spell to deal with the most dire situations, we therapists conjure up ways to address our immediate needs.
We pay attention to the signals that let us know when we’re getting close to expending the last of our energy, and we develop self-care strategies like strategically scheduling certain clients at particular times. We use both micro- and macro-level self-care, everything from eating lunch outside or sitting in a comfortable chair, to making ventral-vagal maps. These spells of self-care can evolve as our life or caseload changes, but using them regularly allows us to stay active and effective.
Taking on the Role of Sidekick
In the end, the real superheroes are our clients. They are the ones who’ve summoned the bravery to come to treatment, to face their fears, conflicts, and stuckness. At the end of the day, they are the ones who have to confront their problems. They are the ones who draw from what they’ve learned with us to grow and respond to difficult situations.
They might express gratitude for our help or try to give us all the credit, but we know that they are the ones who ultimately did the hard work. Just as Robin used his keen detective skills and acrobatics to help Batman fight crime, we help the main characters in our offices—the ones out in front—take down their own emotional villains, whatever they may be. And from the sidekick role, we celebrate our clients as they learn to stand proud and summon their own inner superheroes.
Sandra Wartski
Sandra Wartski, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist. She’s been with a child and family group practice for 30 years in Raleigh, NC, specializing in relationship issues, mood disorders, anxiety, eating disorders, and crisis intervention.
