When I think back on what I’ve done over the years to grow my work as a therapist and my business—which includes my couples therapy practice, my writing, and my social media presence—I realize that I often did the opposite of what many influencers tell people to do.
Many influencers encourage therapists to grow their income and build their practice by charging for almost any service, including speaking engagements and consultations. But as my online presence has grown over the last decade, I’ve taken an approach that might be counterintuitive. I don’t charge for everything, and this has helped me grow my income. Even now, after writing books, cultivating a large online following, and creating a successful practice, I still agree to free speaking engagements, offer consultations to other practices at no cost, and do pro bono sessions.
Of course, we all need to make a living. However, I’ve found that there are often opportunities—like connecting with others and lifting them up or taking a meaningful speaking engagement—that are priceless in many ways. In fact, it’s often the unpaid events that have had the largest impact for my career, even years later.
When I first started my practice years ago, I sold almost everything I owned so that I’d have the money to rent an office space and buy a new computer. I spent many nights cobbling together a website and learning the nuts and bolts of SEO. I also did a ton of networking to grow my clinical skills. I reached out to supervisors I admired (paying for their services with credit cards I knew I wouldn’t be paying off for a while), and drove all over the country to learn from experts I felt drawn to and maybe take them out for coffee, just to pick their brain and share a little bit of who I was.
I also held free workshops for churches and universities and shared my therapy knowledge on Instagram (before it was a thing). I knew many people didn’t really understand what couples therapy entailed, and I wanted to demystify it. Since then, my Instagram account has grown to nearly 300K followers. I’ve founded A Better Life Therapy, a group practice dedicated to helping people improve their mental and relational health. I’ve also written several books for couples and developed my signature couples weekend intensives aimed at helping couples get through crisis.
There’s a lot of noise out there claiming that therapists wanting to grow need to brand quickly so that eventually they’ll create an easy life for themselves where they’re simultaneously doing important work, enjoying lots of free time, and making loads of cash. But I’ve found that when it comes to growing professionally, that’s the exception, not the rule. Instead, I think we should be willing to make sacrifices and stay open to opportunities. Fortunately, that’s been the formula for success for me, and I’m grateful for where I’ve landed.
Elizabeth Earnshaw
Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, CGT, is a licensed therapist, supervisor, and author of I Want This to Work, ‘Til Stress Do Us Part, and The Couples Therapy Flip Chart. She’s also the founder and Clinical Director of A Better Life Therapy.
