Infidelity
Articles in this category explore what happens when a relationship's central promise is broken, and what it takes to sort through the ensuing damage.
These pieces highlight stories of emotional and sexual affairs, online betrayals, betrayal trauma, and long-kept secrets. They examine the myriad reasons clients may be unfaithful, offer language for empowering clients who have been betrayed, and ask important questions about how much to disclose following an affair.
Explore these stories and insights for guidance as you help couples decide how to navigate life in the wake of infidelity.
Has a field that once shamed the betraying partner overcorrected to where it’s now failing the betrayed? Read more
Infidelity doesn’t just wound the betrayed partner—grief ripples through the entire relational system. Sometimes, holding it in unconventional ways... Read more
The landscape of infidelity has shifted dramatically—what will it take for our clinical thinking to catch up? Read more
Betrayed partners don’t need perfect apologies. Their nervous systems need a pattern. Read more
It’s easy to dismiss or villainize the affair partner. But when they bring their unique experience into the room, do you know what to do? Read more
Rushing to repair after betrayal isn’t just premature—it can deepen your clients’ pain. Read more
Four decades of nuggets from our archives trace how our field’s thinking about affairs has evolved—and remind us to hold today’s certainties a little... Read more
Therapist Don-David Lusterman shares insights into working with married couples as they repair after an extramarital affair. Read more
Editor’s Note: This blog is excerpted from a piece that originally appeared in our September/October 1994 issue, Parents Under Siege. Do you think its... Read more
Of course, sexual affairs are red flags for infidelity, but there are common elements that make any outside relationship an infidelity. Sex therapist Tammy... Read more
In a world of new and emerging norms about commitment, intimacy, the right to personal happiness, and open relationships are there also new patterns? Has the... Read more
When we therapists believe a secret's revelation would be dangerous, the client receives a frightening message about themself and the world. Read more
Infidelity expert Shirley Glass discusses how much disclosure is needed for a couple to heal after an affair. Read more
Michele Weiner-Davis learns a surprising lesson when she reevaluates whether certain foundational rules for infidelity recovery really help her clients heal. Read more
What’s the true nature of your feelings for your lover? An honest answer to that question is what a therapist needs in order to help a couple decide how to... Read more
When working with clients who’ve experienced an intimate betrayal, it’s important to empower them to move beyond a victim identity. Read more
Far from being evidence of marital bankruptcy, a woman’s affair can be a way of expressing a desire for a different self and an opportunity to breathe life... Read more
Healing from an extramarital affair is rarely a simple process, especially when embarrassing sexual secrets and incompatibilities are exposed. Read more
Esther Perel revisits former clients to discover what separates the couples who ended up thriving after an affair from those still living in the wreckage of... Read more
My Parisian colleague was shocked to learn that American therapists typically encourage couples not only to confess their affairs, but also to share the... Read more
Three therapists explore how to cool down the temperature with couples facing the crisis of infidelity. Read more
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