Contributed by Harriet Lerner

10 Results

Listening as the Ultimate Spiritual Act

From Passive Process to Active Practice

How do we change our habit of defensive listening and make emotional presence our practice? Read more

How remarried families can reexamine their roles. Read more

Do I Have to Forgive You?

Loosening the Grip of Obsessive Anger and Pain

The hardest part of letting go of anger can be accepting that the offending party is never going to apologize, never going to see themselves objectively, and... Read more

Healing the Mother–Daughter Connection

When "I'm Sorry" is Just the First Step

Certain apologies are so courageous that the very word apology seems too glib. Letty’s story is one that falls on the heroic end of the apology spectrum. I... Read more

What It Really Means to Apologize

…While Holding Wrongdoers Accountable

We’re all imperfect human beings, so the need to give and receive apologies is with us until our very last breath. Yet there’s no greater challenge than... Read more

An Apple Seed and Trained Monkeys

Growing Up Under the Influence of My Big Sister's Imagination

Whether as playmate, protector, or tormentor, a big sister looms large in the imagination of her younger sibling. Read more

The Challenge of the Healing Apology

Highlights from Symposium 2018

At this cultural moment of the #MeToo movement, which has heightened awareness of a broad range of transgressions, psychologist and bestselling author Harriet... Read more

The Power of Apologizing

What It Takes to Really Be Sorry

Unlike the faux public apologies from men accused of sexual misconduct that 2017 will likely be remembered for, our private apologies have the potential to... Read more

Apologizing Under Fire

How to Handle Big-Time Criticism

It’s difficult enough to offer an apology when we see the need for it and believe it’s the right thing to do. It’s far more difficult when we’re... Read more

Whatever Became of Feminism?

Harriet Lerner on the Legacy of the Women's Movement

Psychologist and bestselling author Harriet Lerner speaks about her body of work and addresses the question of the continuing impact of feminism on... Read more

Harriet Lerner

Harriet Lerner is one of the most respected voices on the psychology of women and marriage and family relationships. For more than three decades, she was a staff psychologist and psychotherapist at The Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas, and a faculty member and supervisor in the Karl Menninger School of Psychiatry. Currently in private practice in Lawrence, Kansas, she is the author of numerous scholarly articles and 12 books, including the New York Times best-seller, The Dance of Anger, and Why Won’t You Apologize:  Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts.