Contributed by David Schnarch
7 Results
What's In a Kiss?
Helping Couples Decode the Language of Their Sexuality
Over the years, I've worked with many couples who complain bitterly that the other kisses or touches, fondles, caresses, strokes the "wrong" way. These couples need to understand that the ways they show physical affection is a remarkably salient and authentic expression of themselves and their feelings for each other. Read More
Passionate Marriage
Helping Couples Decode the Language of Their Sexuality
Over the years, I've worked with many couples who complain bitterly that the other kisses or touches, fondles, caresses, strokes the "wrong" way. I used to take these complaints at face value, trying to help the couple solve their problems through various forms of marital bargaining, until I realized that their sexual dissatisfactions didn't stem from ignorance, ineptitude, or a "failure to communicate." Instead of trying to spackle over these normal and typical "dysfunctional" sexual patterns with a heavy coat of how-to lessons, I have learned that it makes much more sense to help the couple analyze their behavior, to look for the meaning of what they were already doing before they focused on changing the mechanics. Read More
Dealing with Dishonesty in Couples Therapy
David Schnarch on Not Taking Lying Personally
Taking Off The Gloves
David Schnarch On How Confrontation Speeds Up Couples Therapy
Removing The Masks
Let’s Stop Wasting Time
Passionate Marriage
Helping Couples Decode the Language of Their Sexuality
Inside the Sexual Crucible
The Thrill of Connection Opens Us to the Terror of Loss and Pain
For most married people, the magnetic force that drew them together in the first place has so weakened that marriage has become almost synonymous with sexual ennui. Indeed, the withering away of eroticism in marriage, particularly as spouses age, is apparently so widespread in our society that it's commonly rationalized as normal, if not actually desirable. But whether defined by the sex therapy establishment as "functional" or "dysfunctional," people complaining of a loss of the vital sense of connection they once knew often are deathly afraid of the very intimacy and eroticism they're craving. Read More
David Schnarch
David Schnarch, PhD, director of the Crucible Institute, is the author of Intimacy & Desire, Passionate Marriage, and Constructing the Sexual Crucible.