The #MeToo movement has not only shed light on the negative experiences of women at the hands of powerful, predatory men, but it’s also resulted in many ordinary men taking a deep, introspective look at the way they’ve long approached courtship, relationships, and gender roles.
Along the way, many are wondering: might our widespread cultural views of what makes a man masculine have led to this predatory behavior in the first place? And does being a sexual man inherently come at a woman’s expense?
Networker senior writer Lauren Dockett sat down with Valeria Chuba, clinical sexologist and certified intimacy coach, to get the answer. Here, Chuba explains the myths about male sexuality, and shares what our society needs to do in order to cultivate a healthy view of masculinity.
As Chuba explains, male sexuality is not inherently violent, and part of a therapist’s work with men around sexuality must involve coming from a place of relative non-judgment.
“It’s important to be sensitive to the high standards many men hold themselves to in working with you in therapy,” Chuba says in Dockett’s article in our recent Networker issue, Men and #MeToo: What Are They Thinking? “I’ll always tell them ‘thank you’ every time they share something or ask a difficult question,” she says. “It’s hard for them to be vulnerable, to trust. They weren’t raised to do those things.”
Lauren Dockett, MS, is Psychotherapy Networker’s senior writer. A longtime journalist, journalism lecturer, and book and magazine editor, she’s also a former caseworker taken with the complexity of mental health, who finds the ongoing evolution of the therapy field and its broadening reach an engrossing story. Prior to the Networker, she contributed to many outlets, including The Washington Post, NPR, and Salon. Her books include Facing 30, Sex Talk, and The Deepest Blue. Visit her website at laurendockett.com.