Topic - Children/Adolescents

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We've gathered Psychotherapy Networkers most popular posts and arranged them here by topic.

Why Therapists Should Give Clients' Marriage a Second Chance

William Doherty on the Merits of Discernment Counseling

William Doherty

This wish for a permanent mate isn’t surprising, given the perennial human longing to know that someone is there for us as we age, whatever happens---and that means there are no quick, guilt-free exits. Life is complicated, and divorce is sometimes necessary, but why not, in the words of poet Dylan Thomas, “rage, rage against the dying of the light,” instead of simply moving on because the current marital house would take too much work to restore and the one down the street looks better?

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Therapy for Helping Couples Divorce with Dignity

Tammy Nelson on the Mechanics of the Intentional Divorce

Tammy Nelson

At one time in my career, I’d have considered divorce as an outcome of therapy to be a failure—by the couple and by me. But over the years, I’ve learned to think of it as another opportunity to help. I’ve learned that I can help couples end their union in as thoughtful and pragmatic a way as possible. In other words, both partners can come through the experience with their dignity intact, their sanity whole, and in a greater spirit of cooperation and goodwill—attributes they’ll need as they continue to share responsibilities for their investments, their interests and their children.

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Putting Divorce on the Table in Couples Therapy

How to Tell When Splitting Up is the Best Option for a Failing Marriage

Terry Real

Some marriages' endings have broken my heart, made me look hard at my technique, and wonder what I might have done differently. But when I believed the couple, the therapy, and even the children were better served by the partners’ letting go, I’ve breathed a sigh of relief. In other words, I don’t see my job as stitching every couple together no matter what. Sometimes, in fact, my job turns out not to be forestalling the dissolution of a family, but facilitating it.

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Mind-Mapping: The Spark in Couples Conflict?

David Schnarch Explains How to Look for Mind-Mapping in Therapy

David Schnarch

Rather than being triggered by fear, shame, or insecurity, some people do hurtful things with impunity and entitlement to gratify their own needs and wishes. In marriage, they’re engaging in the form of relationship with which they’re most familiar, one that, in fact, they prefer. The key to grasping the roots of this “inner game” is to understand the brain’s ability to map another person’s mind---what I call “mind-mapping. Marriage is inconceivable without some degree of mind-mapping: you need it to understand wants and desires. Of course, it comes in handy if you want to be a good liar, manipulator, or adulterer.

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How to Prepare for Insurance Company Treatment Reviews

Tips for Proving Your Therapy is Medically Necessary

Barbara Griswold

While treatment review has always been a part of insurance reimbursement, therapists in the last few years have reported an increase in such phone calls from insurance companies. But what’s the health plan looking for when reviewing for medical necessity? What does the language of medical necessity sound like, and how can you learn to speak it fluently? Here are a few tips.

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Using Play in Therapy to Solve Emotional Problems

Why Creative Strategies are the Therapist's Best Tool

Courtney Armstrong

How many times have you surprised yourself by jumping at the scary part of a movie? It isn’t enough to be a kind, supportive guide on clients’ journeys. We have to be a provocative guide, creating experiences that trigger their curiosity and desire to know more. Human behavior and motivation are driven mostly by the emotional brain---the brain centers that mediate “primitive” emotions and instincts and respond to sensory-rich experiences, not intellectual insights.

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The Many Reasons Why Therapy Clients Cry

A Clinician's Guide to the Biological Basis of Tears

Jay Efran and Mitchell Green

How can both joyful and tragic events elicit tears? This question puzzles many clinicians, including some who are considered experts in the field of emotional expression. The problem is that few of us have received explicit training in theories of emotion. Physiologically speaking, emotional tears are elicited when a person’s system shifts rapidly from sympathetic to parasympathetic activity---from a state of high tension to a period of recalibration and recovery. And sometimes, clinicians can feel an urge to rush in and “fix things” that aren’t broken.

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Does Self-Disclosure in Therapy Hurt or Heal?

Finding a Balance in Sharing Personal Information with Clients

Janine Roberts

Despite our best intentions, self-disclosure can backfire. So why are we drawn to it so strongly as a therapeutic tool? Hundreds of therapists in workshops I've led around the world have said they share personal information to strengthen the therapeutic alliance, demystify therapy, and reduce the power differential between themselves and their clients. In the discussion about self-disclosure, we need to move beyond an either/or frame, as in "yes, do it," or "no, keep tight boundaries."

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Blending Psychotherapy and Community Activism

Jeffrey Kottler on the Rewards of Volunteer Therapy in Nepal

Jeffrey Kottler

Who has time to change the world when we already have our hands full trying to make a living and get through the obstacle course of a normal work week? It's not impossible. I now spend several months each year working in remote regions of Nepal, helping lower-caste girls, who are at the greatest risk of being forced into early marriage or trafficked into sex slavery, by making it possible for them to attend school. It's when I'm here that I feel most alive, and at least for the few months after I return, I feel a new clarity and focus about what's most important.

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How Brain Science Helps Therapists Heal the Distressed Mind

Dan Siegel on How to Regulate Emotional States Through Mindsight

Dan Siegel

Over the last twenty years, I've come to believe that integration is the key mechanism beneath both the absence of illness and the presence of well-being. Integration---the linkage of differentiated elements of a system---illuminates a direct pathway toward health. It's the way we avoid a life of dull, boring rigidity on the one hand, or explosive chaos on the other. The key to this transformation is cultivating the capacity for mindsight.

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