We've gathered Psychotherapy Networkers most popular posts and arranged them here by topic.
Must Parenthood Bring Down the Curtain on Romance?
Esther Perel
By Esther Perel - Sex makes babies. So it is ironic that the child, the embodiment of the couple's love, so often threatens the very romance that brought that child into being. But the brave and determined couple who maintains an erotic connection is, above all, the couple who values it. They know that it's not children who extinguish the flame of desire: it's adults who fail to keep the spark alive.
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Helping Couples Work Through Old Character Attacks
Ellen Wachtel
By Ellen Wachtel - I used to believe that if a couple was getting along and behaving in a loving way to one another, hurtful and even cruel words would naturally fade into the background. But I’ve frequently seen couples in which hurt spouses may forgive their partner for the harsh words spoken in anger, but nonetheless remain haunted by some biting comment that continues to sting long after the argument is over.
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Four Ways to Push Pause on a Verbal Bully
Kate Cohen-Posey
By Kate Cohen-Posey - We live in an age in which using toxic verbiage against others has almost become the norm. Here's how we can help clients deal with these kinds of situations in the moment.
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A Three-Part Solution for Couples Therapy
Suzanne Iasenza
Sex therapist Suzanne Iasenza talks about a three-part process that helps couples free themselves from the rigid narratives about sex that keep them from exploring what really brings them pleasure.
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Do Any of Really Know What's Right?
David Treadway
By David Treadway - How do any of us therapists know what’s good enough in the unfolding of people’s lives? I know I practice an often intuitive craft, not an exact and predictable science. The truth is that all too often, like most practitioners, I can never be quite sure how much difference my bit part plays in the unfolding drama of clients' lives.
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It Takes These Two Therapeutic Approaches
Steven Stosny
By Steven Stosny - Intimate betrayal strikes at the core of our capacity to trust and love, violating the fundamental expectation that gives us the courage to connect deeply—the belief that the person we love won’t intentionally hurt us. This requires therapists to reach a balance between validating their clients’ pain and empowering them to improve their lives.
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Ignoring the Destructive Patterns in Front of Us Does Our Clients a Disservice
Terry Real
By Terry Real - It's disrespectful to clients not to let them in on the truth about what we witness regularly in our offices as they play out their relationships in front of us: the ways they deal with their partners are often self-centered, unfeeling, and counterproductive. I believe that in order to teach our clients how to be authentic and connected, we must be real with them ourselves.
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Should You Be a Secret-Keeper or is Honesty the Best Policy?
Michele Scheinkman
By Michele Scheinkman - Underlying the perceived magnitude of an affair is an idealized view of marriage as the "shelter" in our lives, with a primary function of providing emotional security and attunement. I've found it perplexing that, although we live in an ostensibly liberal and sexually permissive society, therapists typically have one-track minds regarding how to approach infidelity.
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A Couple on Brink of Divorce Finally Learns to Show Vulnerability
Silvina Irwin
By Silvina Irwin - It’s my first session with Jeff and Miranda. “Honestly, I don’t know why I’m here,” Miranda spits out. “He's cheated on me since we started dating 25 years ago." Can I avoid doing further damage to their precarious relationship? Do I tell Miranda to run for the hills? What if Miranda takes a leap of faith and decides to trust Jeff once more—and he betrays her yet again?
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The Behavior Patterns That Kill Romance, and How to Beat Them
Susan Johnson
Susan Johnson, the developer of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and a presenter at the
2019 Networker Symposium, has devoted her career to demonstrating that it’s not an oxymoron to speak of the "science of love."
Listen as she explains how attachment science can help couples discover a pathway to optimal lovemaking.
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