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Topic - Couples

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We've gathered Psychotherapy Networkers most popular posts and arranged them here by topic.

A Triple Boundary Crossing

From Client to Friend to Client

Arnold Lazarus

Therapists are expected, of course, to treat all clients with respect, dignity and consideration, and to adhere to the spoken and unspoken rules that make up our established standards of care. Many of these rules are necessary and sensible, but I believe that some elements of our ethical codes have become so needlessly stringent and rigid that they can undermine effective therapy. Take, for example, the almost universal taboo on "dual relationships," which discourages any connection outside the "boundaries" of the therapeutic relationship, such as lunching, socializing, bartering, errand-running or playing tennis.


The Crush

Challenging Our Culture of Avoidance

Mary Jo Barrett

Before it happened to me, I had never heard even my closest colleague talk about falling in love with a client. In our consultation group, the subject was once broached purely theoretically, and everyone became uncomfortably quiet. Nobody shared a personal experience. The message we gave each other was clear: Whatever you do, don't talk about having a crush on a client! And that may be why I would rather write about being seen naked by a client at the health club, or dealing with anti-Semitic remarks in session, than describe to you what happened. Yet, I want to break our conspiracy of silence so that we can get help when we need it. And believe me, when it came to Scott, I did.


The Whole World Is Watching

Therapy and the TED Talk Stage

Kathleen Smith

Earlier this year, therapist Michele Weiner-Davis spent hours in front of a camera, her husband patiently hitting the record button as she rehearsed for what she believed could be the most important 18 minutes of her professional career: her first TED talk.


An Attachment-Based Approach with Couples

Harnessing Emotion in Couples Work

Susan Johnson

When a couple leaves the consulting room, what keeps them from falling back into the destructive, deep-seated behavioral patterns that brought them there in the first place? In other words, how do in-session breakthroughs become daily habits?


The Power of Mental Rehearsal

Learning to Strengthen Brain Circuits

Brent Atkinson

In his recent Networker article “The Great Deception,” psychologist Brent Atkinson, author of Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy: Advances from Neurobiology and the Science of Intimate Relationships, explains the power of mental rehearsal and what this means for your clients.


Removing The Masks

Let’s Stop Wasting Time

David Schnarch

Conventional therapeutic wisdom aside, people typically don’t hurt each other because they’re out of touch, unable to communicate, or can’t help themselves. All too frequently, they do hurtful things with impunity and entitlement simply to gratify their own needs.


After the Storm

The Affair in Retrospect

Esther Perel

For several years, I've been contacting couples I've treated to find out more about the long-term impact of the infidelity that brought them to therapy. With those couples who've remained together in the intervening years, I offered a free, follow-up interview to discuss how they regard the infidelity retrospectively, and how they integrated the experience into the ongoing narrative of their relationship. Specificities notwithstanding, I identified three basic patterns in the way couples reorganize themselves after an infidelity---they never really get past the affair, they pull themselves up by the bootstraps and let it go, or they leave it far behind.



Letting the Body Lead

Ann Randolph on Truly Embodied Emotion

Rich Simon

Much of therapy taps into emotions through words—talking through behavioral and emotional problems, recounting past events, or discussing aspirations. But for some clients, talking and thinking too much about their problems is a problem in and of itself.


Psychotherapy as Experiential Drama

Jeffrey Zeig on Bridging the Gap between Knowing and Realizing

Rich Simon

In our own lives and in our work with clients, we often find that simply knowing what we need to do isn’t enough.


Making Creativity in the Consulting Room Productive

Steve Andreas on the Clinical Mastery of Virginia Satir

Rich Simon

What does inventive therapy look like? We often overlook that for all skilled therapists, there are well-established patterns and techniques underlying even the most innovative decisions.


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