Topic - Couples

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We've gathered Psychotherapy Networkers most popular posts and arranged them here by topic.

VIDEO: Julie Gottman on Why There's a Right Way for Couples to Argue

Breaking Down the Four Points of the "Conflict Blueprint"

Julie Gottman

Are you working with partners who can't seem to escape cycles of criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling? According to renowned couples therapist Julie Gottman, there's actually a right way for couples to argue that moves partners out of conflict quickly and effectively. In the following video clip, she explains the four points of the Gottmans' Conflict Blueprint.

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How to Overcome Your Fear of Couples Therapy

What's at Stake When We Only Treat One Partner

Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson

By Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson - Many clients avoid couples therapy, and many clinicians themselves prefer not getting involved in it. Sometimes clients fear the unpleasant things their partners might say about them. And for us, a one-on-one relationship can be pretty rewarding. Being an effective couples therapist requires us to develop skills we may not come by naturally. Here's how to do it.

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Men in Couples Therapy Don't Want Your Validation

Helping Men Commit to Change Means Tapping into a Biological Imperative

Steven Stosny

By Steven Stosny -  For men to engage in the hard work of change, the rewards have to be automatic and visceral, independent of the artificial environment of the therapist's office and vague therapeutic concepts. If you listen long enough to men talking about what it means to love, you'll notice that loving is inextricably linked, for many men, to some form of protection. If men can't feel successful at protecting, they can't fully love.

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Can Open Relationships Ever Work—and When Should Therapists Support Them?

Helping Your Clients Create a Relationship "Contract"

Rick Miller

By Rick Miller - Partners who are basically healthy as individuals and stable as a couple may benefit from an open relationship. Even in our highly sexualized society, alternative arrangements such as open relationships may seem alien and intimidating to many people, but as therapists, our challenge is to be less prudish and frightened by potentially negative outcomes.

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Breaking the Isolation of Caretaking

Three Ways to Help Clients Cope with the Challenges of Alzheimer’s

Nancy Kriseman

By Nancy Kriseman - The Alzheimer’s Association estimates that 5.2 million Americans affected by dementia are over the age 65, which makes the vast majority members of what’s called the traditionalist generation. Understanding this generation’s entrenched values and how they can affect their coping and your intervention can facilitate better outcomes. It’s important never to underestimate how validating and normalizing the caretaker’s experience can foster resilience and inspire hope.

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How to Help Couples Move Past an Extramarital Affair

The Importance of Finding Meaning, Recommitting, and Achieving Sexual Recovery

Barry McCarthy

By Barry McCarthy - Recovery from an extramarital affair asks a lot of partners. They must not only process painful feelings, repair the rupture of trust, and share their deepest vulnerabilities, but also take steps to build a new, resilient bond, both emotionally and sexually. Allocating the right amount of time to deal with the affair and determining when partners are ready to focus on the present and future marital bond is a struggle for both clinicians and couples.

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The Uninvited Guest

A Master Clinician Shares Her Most Memorable Therapeutic Moment

Hedy Schleifer

By Hedy Schleifer - Many people wonder how therapists manage to do the work they do. Of the thousands of meaningful sessions that take place in a therapist’s office, certain ones stand out. In the following storytelling piece, couples therapist Hedy Schleifer shares a memorable moment from her own work.

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VIDEO: Making the Case for the Emotional Man

Pat Love Explains Why We Need to Rethink the "Empathy Gap"

Pat Love

Have you ever wondered if some men in your practice are simply unable to listen, connect, and empathize with their partners? According to Pat Love, it’s more likely that our definition of empathy is just too narrow.

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VIDEO: When One Partner Wants Out

Discernment Counseling for the Mixed-Agenda Couple

Bill Doherty

In at least 30 percent of couples who come to therapy, partners enter the consulting room with different agendas---one wants a divorce, the other wants to save the marriage. Bill Doherty, cofounder of The Doherty Relationship Institute and director of the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project, says the stakes are high in this scenario and traditional approaches fall short with these mixed-agenda couples.

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Creating Therapeutic Changes That Last

Why Changing Clients' Habits is Key to Making Therapy Stick

Steven Stosny

By Steven Stosny - With the exception of saints and literary characters, enduring change rarely happens as the result of being knocked off our feet by a spiritual or psychological whack upside the head. Perdurable change is gradual and mundane. It occurs by extending, supplementing, and altering the habits that shape perspectives and drive behavior. First comes the hard work; then comes the epiphany.

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