Therapy land is troubled right now. Many therapists (mostly politically liberal) are dealing with the same post-election trauma symptoms their liberal clients are experiencing. (Of course, conservative therapists have their own challenges, but this piece is for liberals.) Here are some questions on my mind right now.
How do we show up for election-distressed clients without turning the therapy hour into an anxiety enhancing experience? Client: I feel like the sky is falling. Therapist: Me too! Client: Now what? Therapist: Beats me.
How do we avoid encouraging clients to deal with their distress by attacking or cutting off loved ones who voted the other way? I’ve met a few therapists who’ve threatened their own spouses with divorce over who they vote for, and I know more than a few therapists who actively encourage clients to abandon communication with all conservative family members. Client: I don’t know if I can handle Thanksgiving with Uncle Fred spouting his lies. Therapist: You have to take care of yourself. Where else can you go for Thanksgiving? (This instead of “How can you keep your boundaries this year at Thanksgiving?”)
And what about our own visceral reactions to conservative clients? We can be tempted to pity them as duped cult followers or as morally compromised by “isms” propagated by the other political side. Neither is a helpful therapeutic attitude.
An experienced intake therapist at a mental health center told me she’s been getting calls recently from people gingerly asking if they can be assigned to a therapist “who won’t judge me,” with the subtext “because I am a conservative.” Welcome to the world of the “political self of the therapist.” Either we figure out how to navigate this world or we will let down our clients and lose public trust.
Here are 4 starter strategies I’ve learned in my work with Braver Angels, a nonprofit working on political polarization.
- Own your political stress and anxiety and take care of it outside of the therapy room. No one wants their surgeon to have trembling hands.
- Challenge your stereotypes of people who think differently than you on politics. Maybe a Braver Angels workshop would help.
- Work on your own relationships across political differences so you don’t assume your clients must walk away from their loved ones.
- Maintain a boundary between your political activism (if you want to take to the streets or sign on for the next campaign season, go for it!) and your work as a healer inside the therapy space where we’re called to be a non-anxious and accepting presence.
William Doherty
William Doherty, PhD, is emeritus professor of family social science and former director of the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project at the University of Minnesota. He is cofounder of Braver Angels and author of the book, Becoming a Citizen Therapist (with Tai Mendenhall).
