My Networker Login   |   


Helping Kids Find the Answers Inside

Charlotte Reznick on tapping into Imagin ...

Engaging Kids who Hate Therapy

How to Talk to Kids in a Way They Unders ...

Using Empathy to Help Kids Self-regulate

How Being Calm and Collected Gets Us Con ...


  • Phil West on Lighting the Spark in Teen Clients Although I don't work with teens at this time (yet? :)) this little clip came at the right time. It ...
  • on Tough Customers It strikes me that this sort of "radical empathy," if you will, is rather like the mindfulness approach of noticing ...
  • Liz Ann Clemens on Defusing Male Shame On my trip home none of the elders never uttered words of shame but merely watched me stoically. And, when ...
  • Daryl Clemens on Defusing Male Shame While I generally agree with the proposition that shame is detrimental in the consulting room, I have always been impressed ...
  • Suzanne M on Defusing Male Shame I am curious.Is you client from Mexico,of Mexican decent, US born or has he immigrated legally/illegally? Is "Mexican" how your ...

3 Secrets to Engaging a Narcissist in Therapy

Expert Wendy Behary Shows You How It’s Done

Underneath it all, the narcissist is skeptical and frightened.

That’s the first thing to know, according to Wendy Behary, recognized expert in treating narcissistic men. Second, is to use the consulting room as a microcosm of the wider world. Third, is to stay in the moment.

In this quick video clip, Wendy demonstrates how to engage the narcissist without enabling him. It’s a brilliant exposition by a leading expert in one of the toughest areas of our work.

This clip is from our Webcast series Tough Customers: Treating Clients with Challenging Issues. The 6-session series features Clifton Mitchell, Wendy Behary, Richard Schwartz, Janina Fisher, William Doherty, and John Norcross—clinical innovators who will help you master a variety of new approaches and methods to transform your work with your most challenging cases. Read more about this very limited time re-release.

Posted in Networker Exchange, Video Highlights | Tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to 3 Secrets to Engaging a Narcissist in Therapy

  1. meggarrido says:

    Beautiful process work! This is a great reminder to me to come back to the feel of the moment in the room before jumping to teaching coping skills. The few minutes of video communicated so much. Thank you.

  2. Karen says:

    I love Wendy Behary’s work. Tough work with an overt narcissist. Problem is with a covert narcissist. They are pretty much untreatable.

  3. Nuria says:

    Wonderful video clip, reminds me of the importance of the therapeutic relationship as the main tool for transformation.

  4. Alex says:

    Wendy Behary suggestion to stay in the moment is key. Mind you, that is essential to good therapy with any client. If a narcissist shows up for help – you actually have a human being showing up for help. The human being called “narcissist” is in a world of hurt … and the wounded heart will do whatever it can to avoid further pain. Taken longitudinally, a therapist’s involvement in the client’s life is only a tiny, tiny sliver of time. It is compassion, not cleverness, that counts.

  5. Susanne says:

    I think Wendy has an interesting way of engaging the client immediately. Even though it seems rather confrontational, she seems to couch her comments in such a way as to be less stinging, but I wonder how many people come back for a second dose of this. I wonder how she feels about trying to understand the situation from the client’s perspective to begin to create some rapport and empathy before attacking his personality style.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>