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Esther Perel on Adapting to Uncertainty

And How Relationships Are Changing in a Pandemic

There’s a profound change occurring in our relationship to space. In working remotely, it feels at times like we’re doing home visits. In video calls, we enter each other’s intimate spaces: kitchens and messy bedrooms. We’re not working from home—we’re working with home.

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Bottom-Up Gratitude

An AEDP Approach

A core tenet of AEDP teaches us that humans have a built-in, primitive drive to seek out healing attachment, that if something inside us feels wrong, we move toward fixing it.

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Out of Office

Therapists’ Passions and What They Teach Us about Practice

Therapists aren’t just therapists. We’re people, with interests, hobbies, and passions that not only give us fulfilment outside of work, but enhance our ability to return to the office day after day with a clear head and renewed focus. And some therapists’ passions, it turns out, are pretty darn cool.

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David Burns on Overcoming Self-Criticism

A Pioneer of CBT on his Journey to “Feeling Great”

David Burns's book, Feeling Good, brought the cognitive revolution to the public. In his new book, Feeling Great, he draws on decades of clinical work to present readers with what he calls, “cognitive therapy on steroids.”

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Helping Parents in Stressful Times

Clinicians Weigh in on Pandemic Parenting

A therapist has been working with a parent on implementing a kinder, gentler style of interaction with her boisterous kids, but the coronavirus is creating so much stress that she's reverted to doling out harsh punishments. Here, five clinicians offer practical guidance.

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Reaching “Unreachable” Teens & Tweens

12 Tips to Get You in the Side Door

Building a relationship with a heavily armored, developmentally regressed, profoundly sad young adolescent is no small feat. This is where the art of this work comes in.

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Asking Clients About Racial Stress and Trauma

How to Broach the Topic Appropriately

Talking to clients of color about race and experiences of racial trauma is critical. But many white clinicians struggle with how to open these discussions.

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Therapy From the Podcast Studio

Lori Gottlieb and Guy Winch discuss “Dear Therapists”

The therapists and writers have teamed up to produce a podcast that addresses a listener’s problem, provides specific advice, and then checks in to see whether or not it helped—all the while trying to work together as a team and provide a unified response.

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It's Never Too Late

Dan Siegel Shares a Life-Changing Therapeutic Moment

By Daniel Siegel - A therapist’s skill base and experience are vital to good therapy. But they’re rarely enough. The following story, taken from Daniel Siegel's 2017 Networker Symposium Dinner Storytelling piece, highlights the need to bring vulnerability and some measure of risk into the treatment room, letting go of any secret ambition to become a Master of the Therapeutic Universe. There’s no such person.

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Empowering Relationships Despite Political Divides

How to Find and Reaffirm Shared Values

For the roughly 23 percent of married couples who don’t share a political affiliation, disagreements over a party or candidate can easily escalate into personal attacks that threaten an otherwise healthy relationship.

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Training the Heart and Mind

A Message from Jack Kornfield

Clinical psychologist and author Jack Kornfield has been instrumental in bringing mindfulness to Western audiences. With candor and humor, he shares a moving story about how mindfulness can make us more patient, compassionate human beings, and explains what it means for therapists to be "heart-holders" in today's society.

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Finding Wholeness after Loss

The Journey of Grief Groups

The word healing means to make whole, but coming to a sense of wholeness after a significant loss is a difficult process that can’t be rushed.

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A Polyvagal Primer

A Three-Part Exercise to Create Safety and Trust

By Deb Dana - The three elements of our autonomic nervous system act as our largely subconscious surveillance system, working in the background to read subtle signals of safety or threat. Here's how to help clients become aware of their patterns of response to ease and distress.

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Linda Graham on Developing Resiliency

How can therapists help clients train their resiliency "muscles"?

In the past, resilience was thought of as an immutable trait: something we're born with that predetermines how well we can tolerate stress. In reality, Linda Graham explains, “resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity.” It's something that can be developed with training, like a muscle.

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Is Therapy About Transformation, or Small Breakthroughs?

Learning to Separate Our Hopes for Our Clients from Their Goals for Themselves

By William Doherty - Are therapists more like shamans or family doctors? Explorers of human depths or more like Siri on your iPhone, just directing you from one place to another? I'm a skeptic about whether any clinical approach is good at getting clients consistently to the promised land of transformation. Maybe therapy is better understood as being about breakthroughs—small, medium, and large—rather than about transformation.

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The Reassurance Trap

Living with Uncertainly

By Martin Seif and Sally Winston - We can’t guarantee certainty about anything, really. But some of us become haunted by needing to know for sure. We call this unrelenting need the Reassurance Trap. Here's a strategy for getting out of it.

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Supporting Students Experiencing Homelessness

The Key to Safety and Trauma-sensitive Care

I work at a school for elementary- and middle-school kids in New York City. Counseling children and families affected by homelessness is a rapidly expanding segment of my work. Providing trauma-sensitive care for them has become a cornerstone of my approach, but I’ve learned that it doesn’t take fancy interventions to help displaced families feel better.

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Is Trauma Therapy Doing Enough for People of Color?

What is a therapist to do?

When it comes to addressing systemic racism and injustice, “therapy’s not enough,” says trauma expert Mary Jo Barrett. But that doesn’t mean therapists can’t be a part of the effort to create change.

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Rethinking Anger

The Bioenergetic Therapy Approach

Too often, therapists working with anger focus on controlling and preventing it, rather than finding constructive ways to use it. Bioenergetic therapy regards anger differently, providing tools that can help clients access and express anger in safe ways.

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What Four Decades of Practice Has Taught Me

Janina Fisher’s Lessons for Every Beginning Therapist

If you could go back in time and give advice to yourself as a beginning therapist, what would you say? Worry less? Train harder? Practice more self-care? Renowned trauma expert Janina Fisher shares the five things she wishes she’d known when she first began practicing.

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Living with Life's Uncertainties

Wisdom from Rick Hanson's Networker Symposium Keynote

Rick Hanson describes how becoming more mindful of our body and thoughts, and the link between the two, can make us happier and less afraid of life's uncertainties.

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When Teens Self-Harm: How to Effectively Involve Parents

Two Experts Weigh In

When working with a young client who's struggling with self-harm, how should clinicians navigate the practical, emotional, and ethical difficulties surrounding how to involve parents and caregivers?

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Selfcarefully

Self-Care Shifts toward Authenticity

In my years of working with myself and my clients around self-care, I’ve learned that there is no such thing as perfect self-care. Instead, I’ve found authentic self-care, which is anything but perfect.

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The Unlived Lives of Parents

A Mindful Exercise for Healing Old Wounds

Becoming a parent gives us a chance to grow by attending to old wounds, including many that we may have forgotten. The aim is not to deny our history, but to understand it and develop a new relationship with it, bringing self-compassion to ourselves in those moments when we lose it. Here's a seven-step process that can help.

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Overeating Issues in Quarantine?

How to Relate To Food and Weight Now and Let the Shame Go

When COVID-19 hit and many of us began stocking up on food and sheltering in place, I grew deeply concerned for my clients. How were they going to handle the endless hours of isolation, or conversely, the stress of too many people at home at once? As a therapist who specializes in eating issues, here's the approach I use to help them.

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