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Mondays With My Girls

Lessons in Being Real

July/August 2019
A group of preteen girls in a long-term shelter teach a budding therapist some unexpected lessons about the true meaning of resilience and the power of relationship.
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Bookmarks

How We Can Better Protect Victims of Domestic Abuse

July/August 2019
A new book explores the devastating patterns of fear, shame, and secrecy that perpetuate intimate partner violence and too often escalate to murder.

Clinician's Digest

Police and Therapists: A New Alliance

September/October 2018
Innovative co-responder programs around the country are bringing about a shift in how police and clinicians define the boundaries of their work.

Consensual Nonmonogamy

When Is It Right for Your Clients?

January/February 2018
In past decades, the only alternatives to involuntary celibacy in a relationship were affairs or divorce. But more and more therapists are recognizing there’s another option: consensual nonmonogamy. Although the idea isn’t new, it’s challenging our field to see that committed, secure relationships can take many shapes and forms.

Loving Our Devices

When Does Attraction Turn into Addiction?

July/August 2017
More and more therapists, regardless of how they feel about internet addiction as a diagnosis, are advising clients about the healthy use of their digital devices.

The Dance of Sex

January/February 2016
If you’re going to help a couple get closer and really learn to work harmoniously with one another, whether in bed or anywhere else, the key is helping partners experience bonding moments that open them to becoming emotionally accessible to each other. If you can do that, their bodies will follow, and sex will almost always improve.

The Case for Porn

January/February 2016
Porn is polarizing. Porn is confusing. Porn can be alarming. For therapists, porn can push us out of our comfort zone and trigger negative countertransference. But one thing is for sure: porn is everywhere, and it’s here to stay. But this doesn’t mean that we’re being overwhelmed by an epidemic of “porn addiction,” as some people suggest. Porn can play a big role in achieving “rec-relational” lovemaking, and it doesn’t have to take away from a secure attachment.

Transforming Sexual Narratives

From Dysfunction to Discovery

January/February 2016
Therapists too often ignore the importance of the longstanding, often unconscious stories that partners carry with them into their sexual relationship. Helping them share these stories with each other can open the pathway to erotic discovery.

Don't Go It Alone

The Power of Focusing Partnerships

May/June 2015
To emerge from the grip of feeling stale as a therapist and in danger of burning out, we need something to take us out of our isolation. Focusing partnerships can be a potent remedy for the circular thinking we tend to get mired in when we’re by ourselves.

Point of View

Reinventing Couplehood: Intimacy and Commitment in the Age of Consumer Marriage

January/February 2015
Esther Perel, a couples therapist whose TED talk has had more than 5 million views, believes that it’s time to challenge the mismatch between the romantic ideal and the changing realities of contemporary life.
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