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Reflections on the Divorce Revolution

Assessing Our Impact

July/August 2015
When it comes to helping couples considering divorce, therapists have a hundred ways to ask “What’s right for you?” but often find themselves tongue-tied when it comes to asking “What’s right for the others in your life?” Is it possible to talk about interpersonal responsibility without shaming clients and driving them away?
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Case Study

Knowing When to Push: Balancing Safety and Challenge

March/April 2015
When a client has been sexually abused, it can be difficult to find the balance between creating safety and challenging old patterns.

Clinician's Digest

The Whole World Is Watching TED

July/August 2014
For therapists, giving a TED talk is the new professional milestone.

Clinician's Digest

November/December 2010
- The end of the Psychotrophic Age? - Can Therapists Save the World? - Preventing Combat Trauma - Whatever Happened to Empathy?

In the Mood

Desire Seldom Comes to Those Who Wait

May/June 2003
If you've ever thought that a couple's sexual relationship is a barometer of other aspects of their marriage, join the club. And if, because of this belief, your work with distant and warring couples has you shoring up their emotional bond in the hopes that the rest of their marriage—their sex life—will eventually fall into place, you're in good company as well. But there's another, frequently more practical and expedient, way to break through marital gridlock and boost passion.

How to Prevent Relapse

Treatment Strategies for Long-Term Change

September/October 2000
I notice that many of my couples clients do well in therapy, only to return with the same or similar problems in a few months. What can I do to make the effects of treatment last?

It Takes One to Tango

You Don't Need Both Partners to Do Couples Therapy

September/October 1998
Ascribing negative intent to those who prefer to steer clear of therapy is unfair, often incorrect and almost always hurtful to those who wish their partners would share their enthusiasm about the benefits of therapy. They end up blaming their partners even more intensely.

Editor’s Note

January/February 2016
I suspect that no matter how sophisticated we become about sex in the abstract, there’s some half-hidden, unacknowledged suspicion within most of us that sex—or at least the way we personally experience and think about it—is peculiar, if not downright bizarre.
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The Unspeakable Language of Sex

Why Are We Still so Tongue-Tied?

January/February 2016
If you’re like most couples therapists, you know how to help partners communicate more clearly, handle conflict with less uproar, and connect more emphatically. But 50 years after the so-called sexual revolution, many therapists are still unsure about how and when to talk about sexual issues. In our obsession with pop sexuality, we’ve vastly overestimated the power of sexual acts while vastly underestimating the feelings associated with them.

The Sex-Starved Marriage

January/February 2016
A sex-starved marriage isn’t about the number of times per week or per month people are actually having sex. It’s one in which one spouse is longing for more touch, more physical closeness, more sex, and—here’s the rub—the other spouse is thinking, “What’s the big deal? It’s just sex.” But it’s a huge deal because it’s really about feeling wanted, loved, and connected. It places the marriage at risk of infidelity and divorce.
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