Making Couples Therapy More Effective
Despite all the intellectual excitement it generated, the hard truth is that, so far, the systems revolution hasn’t led to very effective ways of doing therapy. Fortunately, a second revolution is quietly taking shape—a new wave of systems theory and therapy—that marries the wisdom of clinical intuition with the rigors of scientific inquiry.
Assessing Our Impact
When it comes to helping couples considering divorce, therapists have a hundred ways to ask “What’s right for you?” but often find themselves tongue-tied when it comes to asking “What’s right for the others in your life?” Is it possible to talk about interpersonal responsibility without shaming clients and driving them away?
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Let’s Stop Wasting Time
Conventional therapeutic wisdom aside, people typically don’t hurt each other because they’re out of touch, unable to communicate, or can’t help themselves. All too frequently, they do hurtful things with impunity and entitlement simply to gratify their own needs.
Stop the Merry-Go-Round: Strategies for Angry Couples
While partners caught in the anger merry-go-round invariably blame the other, both typically pass the anger back and forth like a shared virus.
How Far Should We Go?
Whether we like it or not, today's couples feel far less encumbered by the legal, social, and moral strictures of traditional marriage and its obligations. Increasing numbers are negotiating what they mean by "fidelity" and how they wish to define monogamy in their relationship.
Infidelity Has Different Meanings In Different Cultures
My Parisian colleague was shocked to learn that American therapists typically encourage couples not only to confess their affairs, but also to share the details.
Or How I Learned to See Every Couple as the Odd Couple
Too often couples make contrasts in temperament into negative stories about how their partner won't change. Could it just be that every couple is The Odd Couple?
Where Self and Other Meet
Making "contact" with our partner means first recognizing a subtle inner substrate where we encounter everything from boredom to anxiety to sexual interest to outright rage...and more.
Suddenly Strangers: Iraq War Vets, PTSD, and the Challenge of Relationship
With tens of thousands of Iraq War vets with PTSD returning home, therapists increasingly face the challenge of helping them with their troubled marriages.
Understanding the Foundations of Couples Conflict
All couples fight, but the fights that really define the relationship are always the same thing: whether partners feel they have a safe, secure connection with each other.
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