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The Masculinity Paradox

What Does It Mean to Be a “Real” Man Today?

January/February 2019
The #MeToo movement has returned the field to many of the issues feminists raised decades ago. This time, however, there’s a new focus on avoiding us-versus-them thinking and exploring the great terra incognita of couples work—the inner world of men and their vulnerability. *Includes an interview with Esther Perel.

Lions Without a Cause

Men's animal instincts don't fit the modern world

May/June 2010
Let's face it: love means something quite different to men and women. A look at other species of social mammals offers some remarkable insights into the biological underpinnings of this difference.

The Awful Truth

Most Men Are Just Not Raised to be Intimate

November/December 2002
After the publication of my book, I Don't Want to Talk about It, I started getting calls from people around the United States who wanted help. Naming the issue of "covert depression" in men seemed to have struck a chord. Some of the calls were from men, but most were from women who were at the end of their rope, having already dragged their partners to therapy, veterans of at least one, most often several, failed courses of couples work.

The Facts of Life

Learning to Connect the Dots

March/April 1988
This piece started out as a reportorial piece on sex therapy, but nontherapist Fred Wistow soon blew past that assignment to investigate the ways in which our terror of intimacy can subvert the fragile magic of sexual contact. Here, he lyrically conveys the thrill of genuine lovemaking and the terrible losses we sustain when we run from it.
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