The Outcast

The Outcast

A Hard Road to an Unexpected Connection

By Valery Hazanov

November/December 2020

"Open the window,” he ordered, getting up from his chair and leaning against the wall.

“Why, Sam? Are you too warm in here?” I asked, confused (it was December).

He didn’t answer. He stood straight, opened his long wool coat, looked at me—and farted. Twice. First, I heard the squeaky, prolonged noise, then—unfortunately, and despite opening the window next to me—I smelled it.

“Why did you do that, Sam?” I asked after a moment.

“What? What’s the problem?”

“What’s the problem with farting in your therapist’s office?”

“Yes, Mr. Therapist, what’s the fucking problem with farting in your office? Would you rather I keep it in? Does that sound ‘empathic’ to you?”

“Well, no, I mean . . . I was just surprised. I didn’t expect that.”

“Do you even listen to yourself? I have gastroenterological problems, for God’s sake! Do you know what that means? Did they teach you that in school, or did they only teach you how to ask stupid, unhelpful questions?”

I met Sam in my internship at a psychiatric clinic in a large hospital in Manhattan. He was a veteran of the clinic—knew all the doctors, the social workers, the administrative staff. “This place sucks,” he warned me early on. “Everyone is up his own ass—we’ll see if that includes you.”

We were assigned to meet for a year for…

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Thursday, January 28, 2021 10:55:47 PM | posted by Oneida
The patience of finding how to connect with this client reflects how looking further into true underlying emotions leading to behaviors that clients are unaware stem from past hurts may take time. The humor used made the article that much more enjoyable and encourages self awareness in sessions. Although I can empathize with the struggle of the provider balancing treatment and boundaries, I could not help laughing as I visualized descriptions of some of the sessions. The progress the client made was truly inspiring.

Saturday, December 26, 2020 1:50:29 PM | posted by Talli Rosenbaum
Excellent and inspiring article. Kol Hakavod, Valery

Saturday, November 21, 2020 10:08:25 AM | posted by CAROL
Your story of Sam brought me to tears.

Wednesday, November 4, 2020 10:25:47 PM | posted by Collin Parkinson
Great article, , however, what was the outcome. Or did life continue on, him still living with his depression. Anyhow take care and be careful out there🙏🏻👮🏻‍♂️🦅