My first response to the idea that you could do therapy well online was total disbelief. Until about 18 months ago, I simply refused to consider it. But I remember the day when my colleague’s voice became strident and she practically yelled at me, “Look, I know you don’t do online therapy, Sue. But if you don’t take this couple, they’ll split up and he’ll go back to a life of drugs. You know how to deal with traumatized couples, and they have no resources—none. They live in the high Arctic. Please just do it!”

I took a deep breath. “You want me to do my first online case ever with a trauma couple in relationship distress when the more withdrawn partner is facing relapse into serious addiction? That’s like jumping in the deep end at your first swimming class.” She agreed that it was. So I took the case!

The next morning all my reservations began to echo in my head. I’m a klutz when it comes to technology, so this makes online therapy intimidating in itself. I’d heard my colleagues worry about how secure and confidential online “platforms” were, and I didn’t even really know what a platform was!

I’d also spent the last few years committed to the belief that our obsession with everything online was destroying our ability to be intimate, to really connect. My heart would sink as I watched couples in…