Topic - Couples

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We've gathered Psychotherapy Networkers most popular posts and arranged them here by topic.

Therapy with a Storyteller's Mindset

Learning to "Enter the Scene" with Clients

David Seaburn • 9/20/2018 • 1 Comment

By David Seaburn - Both doing psychotherapy and the writing of fiction are about stories. The essence of the art of both pursuits is the openness to the possibility that, no matter how small, no matter how fleeting, things might not only be different, but, perhaps, better.

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The Core of Couples Therapy

Susan Johnson Explains the Root of Most Couples Conflict

Susan Johnson • 9/14/2018 • 1 Comment

By Susan Johnson - In couples therapy, the heart of the matter rarely concerns the content of a couple's arguments, but almost always concerns the strength and responsiveness of the attachment relationship they have. The bottom-line test of that relationship is in the answer to a fundamental question each is asking the other: Are you really there for me?

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Struggling with Our Clinical Choices

Do Any of Really Know What's Right?

David Treadway • 8/23/2018 • 9 Comments

By David Treadway - How do any of us therapists know what’s good enough in the unfolding of people’s lives? I know I practice an often intuitive craft, not an exact and predictable science. The truth is that all too often, like most practitioners, I can never be quite sure how much difference my bit part plays in the unfolding drama of clients' lives.

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Helping People Pleasers Set Boundaries

…And What to Do When It Backfires

Alicia Muñoz • 8/18/2018 • No Comments

Alicia Muñoz - Boundaries bind. They limit, stop, and inhibit. But they also free people up to be themselves. In couples where one partner is a people-pleaser, things can get even more complicated.

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Making Partners Therapists for Each Other

In a Good Relationship, Your Problems Aren't Yours Alone

Ellen Wachtel • 8/10/2018 • No Comments

By Ellen Wachtel - In couples therapy, if we can help each partner be a better therapist for the other, all three of us can feel more helpful and effective. My favorite way is to start by using a particular exercise to provide a window into each partner’s psyche.

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VIDEO: Stephen Porges on the Building Blocks of Healthy Relationships

What Co-Regulation Actually Looks Like

Stephen Porges • 7/18/2018 • 8 Comments

In developing the Polyvagal Theory, psychophysiologist Stephen Porges transformed the way therapists understand the underlying mechanisms of traumatic response and how safety, caring, and trustworthiness are conveyed unconsciously in our body language, voice tonality, facial expression, and eye contact. In this video clip, he explains what healthy co-regulation looks like in the body.

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Rethinking the Female Affair

When It Comes to Treating Women Who Cheat, Too Many Therapists Are Making This Mistake

Tammy Nelson • 6/29/2018 • 2 Comments

By Tammy Nelson - Far from being evidence of pathology or marital bankruptcy, a woman’s affair can be a way of expressing a desire for an entirely different self. Sometimes, understanding an affair as an unconscious bid for self-empowerment, relief from bad sex, or a response to a lack of choices or personal freedom is an important first step toward a fuller, more mature selfhood.

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What Successful Couples Are Doing Right

The Gottmans on Mastering the Brain’s Seven Pathways to Emotional Connection

John Gottman, Julie Gottman • 6/20/2018 • No Comments

By John and Julie Gottman - John and Julie Gottman have spent decades developing an evidence base for couples therapy, honing their techniques for stabilizing marriage through research with nearly 3,000 couples. In the following excerpt from their 2018 Networker Symposium keynote address, they explain what research has revealed about the crucial role the brain’s seven different command systems can play in enhancing the quality of couples’ emotional connection.

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Is Porn Incompatible with a Loving Relationship?

Talking Frankly About Secrecy, Shame, and New Levels of Intimacy

Joe Kort • 6/19/2018 • 6 Comments

By Joe Kort - Despite the undeniable harm that porn can do, we therapists need to bear in mind a fundamental fact: the overwhelming majority of people exposed to it don't become addicts. To begin to see porn in a more normalizing light, it can be helpful to understand the ways in which porn can be incorporated into a relationship without secretiveness or shame.

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VIDEO: Joe Kort on Doing Your Best Work with LGBTQ Clients

The Myth of Sex Addiction, Common Mistakes, and More

Joe Kort • 6/13/2018 • No Comments

Is the sex addiction model doing more harm than good? What's the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity? And what are the most common mistakes therapists make when working with LGBTQ clients, and how can you avoid them? Sex therapist Joe Kort answers these questions and more.

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