Motivating the Resistant Male Client

Terry Real On Why Leverage Is Key With Men

You’ve probably worked with men who’ve been dragged, kicking and screaming, into therapy by their partners. But how do you work with a client who doesn’t want to be there in the first place—especially if his sense of grandiosity is in the ascendant?

Terry Real—founder of the Relational Life Institute—explains that the key to working with these clients is leverage. In this clip, he uses an example from his own high-stakes couples work to explain how you can gain and use leverage with your reluctant male clients.

Terry Real founded the Relational Life Institute and is Good Morning, America's relationship expert. His books include The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work. This clip is taken from her session in our men in therapy video course:

A New Blueprint for Engaging Men in Therapy
There are new approaches for engaging men in therapy—informed by neuroscience and proven effective—that can help you dramatically improve positive outcomes in your work with men and couples. Explore the latest findings on gender differences and master science-based strategies for working with men. Learn how to:

• Avoid common missteps that trigger men to shut down in therapy


• Gain and retain therapeutic leverage with resistant male clients


• Approach the issue of male shame and defuse it effectively


• Address taboo issues including sex, emotions, and fear of intimacy


• Expand the therapeutic use of your voice, face, and body to strengthen connection with male clients


• Engage men’s emotions—including fear and rage—as part of healing


• Enhance men's capacity for empathy, connectedness, and intimacy


• Recognize distinctive features of male depression and integrate education and coaching into your treatment


• Recognize and address transference issues that male clients experience with female therapists

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