The Necessity of Sexual Polarity

Terry Real on A New Masculine Code

Today’s man doesn’t need to wrestle elk, smoke cigars, or chop wood to feel—or be viewed as—masculine. Many would even argue that what really makes a man masculine is his emotional vulnerability, not muscle or swagger.

But according to Terry Real, author of The New Rules of Marriage, sex has never been politically correct, and good sex—including dominance and submission play—is partially reliant on the sexual polarity that comes with our traditional definitions of masculinity and femininity.

In this brief video clip, Terry discusses how Millennials seem to be redefining the masculine code, blending traditional gender roles in the name of equality. There’s nothing wrong or right about it, Terry says, but the future of couples’ romantic happiness hinges on whether the desire for polarized or more “egalitarian” sex eventually comes out on top.

Terry Real explains why maintaining polarity in sex is important, and how today’s culture may be losing it.

 

Terry Real founded the Relational Life Institute and is Good Morning, America's relationship expert. His books include The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work. This clip is taken from his session in our marriage video course:

The Changing Face of Marriage
Explore the forces shaping intimate partnerships today and the best-practice approaches for helping your clients—some of whom may hold ideas about partnership, commitment, gender roles, personal autonomy, and sexuality that are different from yours. Find out how you can:

• Develop a clear, nonjudgmental understanding of contemporary approaches to relationships and sexual behavior that may challenge your own values and beliefs


• Help couples balance their need for commitment and safety with their desire for more spontaneity, playfulness, and eroticism


• Address the centrality of economic issues and financial stress on couples, including helping them "right size" their lives


• Explore the wide range of meanings that emotional intimacy and sexual compatibility have in gay, lesbian, and straight relationships


• Understand the different patterns found among Boomer, Gen X, and Millennial couples, including how traditional gender roles and conceptions of masculinity and femininity are being redefined
  

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