VIDEO: Attuning to Reluctant Teens

Getting Through to Shut-Down Kids

Dan Hughes

Most therapists are aware of the perils of trying to connect with teenage clients. Teens are often brought to therapy against their will by adults, which can make them especially unwilling to let therapists in. And don’t talk to them like kids---they’re too old for that. But don’t bore them with stereotypical “therapist talk” either---they’re expecting that. So how do therapists relate to teens without seeming patronizing, clueless, or invasive?



Dan Hughes explains how to confront a disrespectful teen.

Over his many years of practice, Dan Hughes, author of Attachment-Focused Parenting, has had plenty of experience attuning with reluctant teens. As he says, “I invite teenagers to express their experience of me when they disagree or are bored. Teenagers love that. They feel respected and heard.” Also, when teens show him disrespect, Dan speaks up about it in a way they can hear. Watching this brief video clip, it’s easy to see why teens love this aspect of Dan’s style.


Daniel Hughes, Ph.D, conducts seminars and provides extensive training in the treatment of children and teens with trauma and attachment problems. His books include Building the Bonds of Attachment, Attachment-Focused Family Therapy Workbook, and Attachment-Focused Parenting.

Did you enjoy this video? Check out Daniel Hughes's article on Parenting in the January/February 2012 issue of the magazine--Are Parents Obsolete?: Confronting the Dilemmas of 21st Century Parenting.

To read our FREE blogs on Parenting, click here.

Topic: Attachment Theory | Children/Adolescents | Parenting

Tags: attachment-focused parenting | Dan Hughes | kids | parents | teenagers | teens | therapist | therapists | therapy | communication shutdown | shut down | shutdown

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