Most therapists have encountered at least one client who truly challenged and perplexed them. And sometimes, regardless of how skilled we are, these clients can radically redefine the way we regard the field of therapy and the way we practice.
For couples and family therapist Susan Johnson, the developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), this client was her first, and came at a time when she describes herself as woefully underprepared. Still, this client experienced a touching—and humorous—therapeutic breakthrough that Johnson says has resonated throughout her therapy career.
In her storytelling session from the 2018 Networker Symposium, she shares this story and explains why, for her, it captures the "essence" of our work as therapists.
Susan Johnson, EdD, developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy, is the director of The International Center for Excellence in EFT. Her latest book is Love Sense: The Revolutionary New science of Romantic Relationships.
As Johnson explains, her work with Lee shows how you don't need fancy techniques to bring about change, nor does change need to come about in session. It might not even seem like a possibility in the near future. But sometimes, the seemingly simplest gestures—a hand on the shoulder or a comforting few words that let the client know you'll be with them every step of the way—can make all the difference.
"Therapy is a dance," Johnson says. "And just like a dance, the essense of therapy is not the steps, the techniques, the fancy tricks, the moves. The essence of therapy is the connection between you and your client. The essence of therapy is attunement, attunement, attunement.”
Did you enjoy this video? You might also want to check out Susan's Networker article "The Dance of Sex," in which she explains how helping partners experience bonding moments can open them to becoming emotionally accessible to each other, and as a result, often lead to improved sexual connection.
Tags: Couples & Family | couples/family | families and family therapy | family counseling | family counselors. | family issues | family therapy | gestalt therapy | Networker Symposium | Professional Development | Sue Johnson | Susan Johnson | Symposium