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After the Affair

Two Case Studies Illustrate the Opportunities Moving Forward

Don-David Lusterman

By Don-David Lusterman - My goal is not merely to help these couples weather the crisis and patch things up, but to help them understand how both spouses created the marital context that made an affair possible, and how the crisis itself can be the spring board to a healthier, more satisfying relationship.

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Finding the Path Back

Couples Therapy After an Affair

Leo Fay

By Leo Fay - Every therapist knows that the disclosure of an extramarital affair can create an explosive crisis undermining the foundation of trust necessary to sustain a relationship. In the midst of that turbulence, our job is to help couples find a pathway to a new understanding of themselves and their marriage. Here's a protocol I've found especially helpful.

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VIDEO: The Biggest Threat to Remarried Boomers

Helping Partners Deal with Stepfamilies

Patricia Papernow

Successfully combining families as part of remarriage is always challenging. But it's especially hard when older re-couplers have adult children, who may or may not be onboard with the new marriage, and extended networks of decades-long relationships that need to be included in the picture.

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Treating Self-Harm

Here's a Behavioral Contract That Clients Can Follow

Lisa Ferentz

By Lisa Ferentz - I used to think that repetitive self-injury could only be seen as pathological, and through contracts and other means tried to convince my clients that this behavior would only cause more problems. Now, I know that my job isn't to browbeat clients into change, but introduce them to healthier behaviors that bring the relief cutting often provides.

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The World of Gender Fluidity

Understanding Gender-Variant Clients

Margaret Nichols

By Margaret Nichols - As cultural attitudes about gender variance have undergone a profound shift, much of what therapists believed about what it means to be transgender is now hopelessly outdated. But how do people know that they’re the wrong gender? And what does that kind of knowing mean for our assumptions about males and females as “opposite sexes”?

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When Three Threatens Two

Must Parenthood Bring Down the Curtain on Romance?

Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - Sex makes babies. So it is ironic that the child, the embodiment of the couple's love, so often threatens the very romance that brought that child into being. But the brave and determined couple who maintains an erotic connection is, above all, the couple who values it. They know that it's not children who extinguish the flame of desire: it's adults who fail to keep the spark alive.

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VIDEO: What Therapists Need to Know About Working with LGBTQ+ Clients

How We Think About Gender and Sexuality is Changing at "Warp Speed"

Margaret Nichols

Today’s LGBTQ+ community has exploded in size, and therapists working in progressive, urban communities will likely see clients whose approach to sex, gender, and relationships diverges from the mainstream. In this short video clip, sex therapist and author Margie Nichols explains what this means for your work.

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Fully Present Sex

How Mindfulness Can Heighten Desire, Arousal, and Satisfaction

Lauren Dockett

By Lauren Dockett - When sex becomes fraught or painful, fear and worries can overtake this important source of pleasure. But clinicians and clients are embracing a nonmedical solution: mindfulness practices that cultivate sexual self-understanding, desire, and pleasure in the bedroom—and the effects are mind-blowing.

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VIDEO: Breaking Rigid Thinking Around Intimacy

A Three-Part Solution for Couples Therapy

Suzanne Iasenza

Sex therapist Suzanne Iasenza talks about a three-part process that helps couples free themselves from the rigid narratives about sex that keep them from exploring what really brings them pleasure.

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Esther Perel's Guide to Creating Erotic Experiences

Good Intimacy Doesn't Always Mean Good Lovemaking

Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - It’s long been the conventional wisdom among couples therapists that if couples fix the emotional issues in their relationship, their sexual lives will improve. But good intimacy doesn’t guarantee good sex.

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