Archives

Sort by:

So Your Client Is Having an Affair...

Should You Be a Secret-Keeper or is Honesty the Best Policy?

Michele Scheinkman • 5 Comments

By Michele Scheinkman - Underlying the perceived magnitude of an affair is an idealized view of marriage as the "shelter" in our lives, with a primary function of providing emotional security and attunement. I've found it perplexing that, although we live in an ostensibly liberal and sexually permissive society, therapists typically have one-track minds regarding how to approach infidelity.

Read more...

The Two Essential Ingredients for a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship

John Gottman's Latest Research from the "Love Lab"

John Gottman • No Comments

By John Gottman - What the latest research from my lab is telling us is that trust and commitment are both the key ingredients for being in love with your partner for a lifetime, and for having your marriage be a safe haven. These are the ingredients for not just loving your partner, but being in love with your partner.

Read more...

The Meaning Behind Money

Getting to the Root of Couples' Arguments about Finances

Sally Palaian • No Comments

By Sally Palaian - These days, couples often come into therapy with problems related to their finances. Here's how to distinguish between money difficulties caused by the economy and those that are more psychological in nature.

Read more...

Celebrating Singles!

Researcher Bella DePaulo on Keeping Our "Matrimania" in Check

Ryan Howes • 1 Comment

By Ryan Howes - Think of a prototypical healthy adult. Are they married or single? While many studies promote the mental and physical benefits of marriage, long-time singles advocate Bella DePaulo says the reported findings are biased, and we therapists need to better understand the single population as more than people waiting to find the right partner.

Read more...

Esther Perel's Secret to Weathering an Affair

Two Ways Couples Who Bounced Back Made It Happen

Esther Perel • 4 Comments

By Esther Perel - For several years, I've been contacting couples I've treated to find out more about the long-term impact of the infidelity that brought them to therapy. What were the useful shock absorbers that sustained the couple? Did they think that therapy had helped? I identified three basic patterns in the way couples reorganize themselves after an infidelity.

Read more...

June Quandary: My Client is Moving Overseas to Marry a Man She's Never Met!

Five Clinicians Give Their Take on This Tricky Clinical Scenario

Chris Lyford • 4 Comments

By Chris Lyford - Diane has just announced she intends to move overseas to marry a man she recently met online. This raises an alarm for her therapist, but he's unsure about how to proceed. Here's how five clinicians say they'd tackle the situation.

Read more...

Learning to Let Go

Sometimes, Too Much Investment in a Client's Recovery Keeps Everyone Stuck

Daphne de Marneffe • 1 Comment

By Daphne de Marneffe - After decades in practice, I still find myself blindsided by certain clients in ways that both humble and mystify me. I’ve learned that if I’m going to be helpful to these clients, I have to work through something difficult in myself. Our ability to inhabit our clients' experiences is part of what makes us good therapists, but there’s always a delicate balancing act in not getting too involved.

Read more...

What is Love?

It Exists in the Most Ordinary Places. Here's How to Find It

Barbara Fredrickson • 4 Comments

By Barbara Fredrickson - At work, you and your teammates celebrate a shared triumph with hugs and high fives. On your morning jog, you smile and nod to greet fellow runners and silently wish them a good day. After a trip that’s kept you apart for too many days, you share a long embrace with a family member. Can these everyday moments be called love? What exactly is love?

Read more...

What's the Best Way to Help Male Clients?

For Many Men, Therapy is a Lion's Den of Shame and Humiliation

Robert Garfield • No Comments

By Robert Garfield - Group therapy is particularly appealing for men who experience traditional individual or couples approaches as being too alien or off-putting. There’s something comforting about being part of a group of guys dealing with similar issues. For men who consider entering couples therapy a stroll into a lion’s den of shame, humiliation and failure, a men's group can be both a crucial source of support and a kick in the pants.

Read more...

The Retiring Rebel

Rethinking the Way We Help Clients Face the Midlife Crisis

Tammy Nelson • No Comments

By Tammy Nelson - Rather than thinking of midlife as an emotional unraveling, I believe it’s more helpful to reframe this stage of life in our early 50s and 60s as “second adolescence,” a time when we’re old enough to appreciate how short life is, but young enough to find new ways to enjoy it.

Read more...

Page 1 of 5 (43 Blog Posts)