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The World of Gender Fluidity

Understanding Gender-Variant Clients

Margaret Nichols, Margaret Nichols

By Margaret Nichols - As cultural attitudes about gender variance have undergone a profound shift, much of what therapists believed about what it means to be transgender is now hopelessly outdated. But how do people know that they’re the wrong gender? And what does that kind of knowing mean for our assumptions about males and females as “opposite sexes”?

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When Three Threatens Two

Must Parenthood Bring Down the Curtain on Romance?

Esther Perel, Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - Sex makes babies. So it is ironic that the child, the embodiment of the couple's love, so often threatens the very romance that brought that child into being. But the brave and determined couple who maintains an erotic connection is, above all, the couple who values it. They know that it's not children who extinguish the flame of desire: it's adults who fail to keep the spark alive.

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Young and Restless

A Special Story from Our Family Matters Department

Dick Anderson, Dick Anderson

By Dick Anderson - When you’re young, a car isn’t just a car—it can be a freedom machine.

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Esther Perel on the Lives of Men

Creating a Space in Therapy to Discuss the Paradox of Masculinity

Psychotherapy Networker

By Psychotherapy Networker - Discussions about masculinity and femininity have become part of everyday therapeutic discourse. Here, couples therapist Esther Perel offers her perspective on how therapy has evolved in its exploration of the role of gender identity and where we need to go from here.

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Life Without Father

A Son Looks for Answers from a Stoic Parent Back from War

Frank Pittman, Frank Pittman

By Frank Pittman - Even though I knew I wanted to be a father when I grew up, I didn’t know exactly what skills were required. We of the ’40s and ’50s grew up with fathers who were off at war or at work, and who weren’t part of the family even when they were at home. We were essentially fatherless.

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Revisiting Masculinity in the Age of #MeToo

40 Years After Therapy's Feminist Corrective, More Clinicians Are Talking About Gender. Are You?

Lauren Dockett, Lauren Dockett

By Lauren Dockett - We live in a time when gender identity has gained a new visibility under the banner of #MeToo. But therapists are struggling with how to actually address the highly charged issues it can raise in the therapy room. The goal this time is a more encompassing conversation about the way society genders and is gendered that has profound implications for both men and women.

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The Female Therapist's Guide to Treating Men

Understanding Male Language, Attitudes, and Needs

Holly Sweet, Holly Sweet

By Holly Sweet - My early experience with male clients soon taught me that working with men was going to present challenges different from those of working with women. From many years of attention to men's language, attitudes, and needs, I've developed a specific approach to working with male clients.

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What Basketball Taught Me About Therapy

Learning to Stay in the Game with Challenging Clients

Barry Jacobs, Barry Jacobs

By Barry Jacobs - Basketball has taught me many lessons. I learned about trust, relationships, and teamwork. I learned the power to regulate feelings. It would shape my clinician's game too. I developed a knack for handling male aggression, as well as physical decline and loss.

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Esther Perel on the Paradox of Masculinity

What Does It Mean to Be a “Real” Man Today?

Esther Perel, Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - Feminism has given women a new narrative, but it hasn’t offered men a particularly new one that they can identify with. Ultimately, the lives of women will not change until the lives of men come along. What can therapists contribute to the current conversation about our gender politics and the meaning of masculinity and femininity today?

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Rethinking the Female Affair

When It Comes to Treating Women Who Cheat, Too Many Therapists Are Making This Mistake

Tammy Nelson, Tammy Nelson

By Tammy Nelson - Far from being evidence of pathology or marital bankruptcy, a woman’s affair can be a way of expressing a desire for an entirely different self. Sometimes, understanding an affair as an unconscious bid for self-empowerment, relief from bad sex, or a response to a lack of choices or personal freedom is an important first step toward a fuller, more mature selfhood.

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