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Erotic Intelligence

Reconciling Sensuality and Domesticity

Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - America, in matters of sex as in much else, is a goal-oriented society that prefers explicit meanings, candor, and "plain speech." I often suggest an alternative with my clients: "If you want to create more passion in your relationship, why don't you play a little more with the natural ambiguity of gesture and words, and the rich nuances inherent in communication."

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VIDEO: Helping Kids Find the Answers Inside

Here's a Fun Exercise That Gets Your Young Clients Involved

Charlotte Reznick

Wouldn’t it be great if we had a magic therapy wand to wave in front of our young clients and give them all the answers they need? What if this magic wand could conjure rainbow lizards and talking dogs to sit on our clients’ shoulders, bypass their defense systems, and whisper good, therapeutic advice in their ears? That’s exactly the kind of approach Charlotte Reznick uses with her young clients.

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Escaping the Criticism Trap

Here's an Exercise That Makes Criticism Disappear

Steve Andreas

By Steve Andreas - I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been sent reeling from the slightest criticism, no matter how much positive feedback they get about their work. But some people experience this reaction daily or hourly. Many don’t even wait for someone else to criticize them: they provide it themselves, making it truly inescapable. Here's how to help them gain some perspective.

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Taking Imagery to the Next Level

This Approach Adds a Crucial Dimension to the Therapy Experience

Kate Cohen-Posey

By Kate Cohen-Posey - Sometimes, when I ask clients to visualize a safe place or a wise inner guide, they struggle to bring these mental images to life. Just the simple external stimulus of visual images, however, can open new doors for them.

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What Writers and Therapists Have in Common

Rekindling Our Moral Imagination and Courage

Mary Pipher

By Mary Pipher - Both good writing and effective therapy rely on the ability to move beyond the self to understand how the world looks and feels to another person. Here, an author and psychotherapist argues that this quality of "moral imagination" is crucial to our ability to face the enormous challenges that face us, not only in our consulting rooms, but in the wider world we share with one another.

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Adjusting the Unconscious

What if a Few Basic Principles Could Make Change Far Easier?

Steve Andreas

By Steve Andreas - What if there were a few basic principles and methods that make therapeutic change far simpler and easier than most people think is possible? Not only is this possible, but there’s already a coherent body of knowledge and practice to guide us in eliciting change in the moment, confirmed by longer-term follow-up in the real world. Here are seven practical principles for making sense out of the case study that follows.

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What Therapists Need to Know About Autism

An Interview with Steve Silberman on the Intricacies of Autism and Asperger's

Ryan Howes

When it comes to autism, how do we separate truth from fiction? Steve Silberman is a Bay Area writer who, for his Wired article “The Geek Syndrome,” dove into Silicon Valley culture in 2001 to explore the contribution of people on the autism spectrum to the dot-com boom. He followed up that article with years of research and study, culminating in his new book, Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity. In a recent conversation, Silberman teased out the intricacies of autism as a pathology and as a different way of seeing the world.

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Why Egalitarian America Needs Dominant Sex

Relationship Advice from Sex Therapist Esther Perel

Esther Perel

America seems to be a goal-oriented society that prefers explicit meanings, candor, and "plain speech" to ambiguity and allusion. But ironically, some of America's best features, when carried too punctiliously into the bedroom, can result in very boring sex. I often suggest an alternative with my clients: "There's so much direct talk already in the everyday conversations couples have with each other," I tell them. "If you want to create more passion in your relationship, why don't you play a little more with the natural ambiguity of gesture and words, and the rich nuances inherent in communication."

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Giving Therapy Clients a Little Push for Big Change

Balancing Long-Term Therapy Goals with Instant Remedies

David Waters

What first made me fall in love with being a therapist was the idea that I could make a living by having conversations that cut through everyday pretenses, got directly to the heart of the matter, and helped people change their lives. That was then, and this is now. Today as a profession---and as a society---we're much more fearbound and rule conscious than we used to be. Yet the sacred space of the therapy room is the ideal place to really exercise your creativity. It's taken me more than 30 years to realize that it's the combination of two strange bedfellows---imagination and repetition---that holds the key to change.

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The Merits of Applying Brain Science in Therapy

Using the Brain to Explain Fear and Anxiety Objectively

Louis Cozolino

The aspects of our brains that evolved 50,000 years ago—which give us astonishing powers of thought, logic, imagination, empathy, and morality—also share skull space with the ancient brain equipment that we've inherited from our mammalian and reptilian forebears over the past several million years, including the neural circuitry involved in fear and anxiety. Some therapists bristle at the integration of neuroscience and psychotherapy, calling it irrelevant or reductionistic. But information about the brain and how it evolved helps us communicate with clients about their problems in an objective and non-shaming manner. It's hard to grasp how the brain could be irrelevant to changing the mind.

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