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Erotic Intelligence

Reconciling Sensuality and Domesticity

Esther Perel

By Esther Perel - America, in matters of sex as in much else, is a goal-oriented society that prefers explicit meanings, candor, and "plain speech." I often suggest an alternative with my clients: "If you want to create more passion in your relationship, why don't you play a little more with the natural ambiguity of gesture and words, and the rich nuances inherent in communication."

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Millennials and the Tyranny of Choice

Three Ways to Help Young Clients Work Through the Real Problem of Choosing Unwisely

Martha Straus

By Martha Straus - After a difficult case, I decided to consult with a small group of millennials, who helped me grasp what a big deal choosing has become for this generation. Here are three adjustments I've made to help millennial clients struggling with the tyranny of choice take hold of their lives and approach differently the sense of paralysis they feel.

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What Therapists Need to Know About Working with Teenage Girls

Author Lisa Damour Explains the Seven Transitions into Adulthood

Ryan Howes

By Ryan Howes - In the following interview, New York Times columnist and author Lisa Damour gives us a glimpse at the map she’s developed for both therapists and parents trying to help teenage girls make their way through the treacherous, often bewildering landscape of adolescence in today’s world.

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Lessons from Therapy with Adolescent Girls

Four Tips for Strengthening the Therapeutic Alliance

Martha Straus

By Martha Straus - For me, working with girls is what I do with the greatest interest and passion. I have wells of empathy to draw on, and can stay attuned with them more easily than with males. Our bond is implicit, and by being as fully authentic, connected, and present as I know how, I help them make it explicit. Here are four of the biggest lessons I've learned in my therapeutic work with adolescent girls.

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Therapy Outside Your Comfort Zone (and Zip Code)

How a Trip to Nepal Uncovered a Professional Calling

Jeffrey Kottler

By Jeffrey Kottler - Each year, thousands of poor Nepalese girls "disappear" from their villages. On an impulse, an American therapist winds up devoting himself to ending these disappearances.

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Temperament: A Factor of Nature or Nurture?

How Therapists Can Help Us Accept and Break Free from Our Dispositions

Marian Sandmaier

New investigations are beginning to shed new light on a question that's hounded psychotherapy for more than a century: what's the relationship between nature and nurture, and what does it mean for the human project of change? As we come to understand more about the complex process of temperament development, therapists may be able to better help clients master one of life's trickiest balancing acts---making peace with one's inborn nature while knocking against its boundaries, in search of a larger self.

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Why It's Tough to Talk about Sex

Editor's Note

Rich Simon

Overall, putting together the new video course and the magazine issue was an oddly touching experience, because I felt that there was a deep sense of camaraderie, common discovery, and shared vulnerability. I had the sense that whether we felt uncomfortable, exhilarated, or just fascinated by what is, after all, an endlessly fascinating topic, we were all in this project together. And by “this project,” I mean not just our exploration of sex, but the whole human project.

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VIDEO: Using Empathy to Help Kids Self-Regulate

How Being Calm and Collected Gets Us Connected

Martha Straus

In this brief video clip, child psychologist and Symposium 2016 presenter Martha Straus discusses the benefit of using co-regulation with a young client in trouble. 
Don't miss her Symposium workshop, on Friday, March 18, Addressing Attachment Issues with Traumatized Teens.

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The Healing Combination of Therapy and Disaster Relief

How an Uncommon Blend of Therapy and Volunteerism is Changing the World

Chris Lyford

Fifteen years ago, psychotherapist Jeffrey Kottler never imagined he’d be stuffing nine duffel bags full of antibiotics and suture kits for a return trip to Nepal. But since founding Empower Nepali Girls (ENG) to provide scholarships to at-risk children, he's returned to the country several times each year with a small team to rescue girls from probable futures in sex slavery, putting them on the path to careers in medicine, engineering, and teaching. And Kottler isn't alone in his relief efforts. In fact, many therapists are redefining what it means to create a connection, the resulting product being an uncommon blend of therapy, relief work, and social justice advocacy. Here are a few of their stories.

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Blending Psychotherapy and Community Activism

Jeffrey Kottler on the Rewards of Volunteer Therapy in Nepal

Jeffrey Kottler

Who has time to change the world when we already have our hands full trying to make a living and get through the obstacle course of a normal work week? It's not impossible. I now spend several months each year working in remote regions of Nepal, helping lower-caste girls, who are at the greatest risk of being forced into early marriage or trafficked into sex slavery, by making it possible for them to attend school. It's when I'm here that I feel most alive, and at least for the few months after I return, I feel a new clarity and focus about what's most important.

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