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Esther Perel’s Growing Cultural Presence

Expanding the Conversation on Couplehood

Lauren Dockett, Rich Simon • 10/28/2017 • No Comments

By Lauren Dockett and Rich Simon - By questioning some of the fundamental premises of traditional marriage, couples therapist Esther Perel has become, at least for the moment, psychotherapy’s public face and most quotable voice. But what is she saying that’s so intriguing and makes her stand out from all the other relationship experts our field produces?

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The New Anatomy of Emotion

How Brain Science Can Teach Couples Emotional Literacy

Brent Atkinson • 10/5/2017 • 1 Comment

By Brent Atkinson - Even among couples who do make progress in therapy, a disheartening chunk relapse. Why? A lack of emotional literacy. Good clinicians help couples effectively calm their anger and fear circuits as well as stimulate the more vulnerable, connection-generating states. The therapist acts as a kind of neural chiropractor, making regular, finely tuned adjustments to each partner's out-of-sync brain.

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The Surprisingly Simple Way to Jump-Start Intimacy

Traditional Approaches Aren't Always the Best Option

Michele Weiner-Davis • 10/3/2017 • No Comments

By Michele Weiner-Davis - When it comes to feeling loved in a marriage, everybody has different requirements. Some people feel loved when their spouses spend time with them. Others feel loved when they've had "good talks." I believe that behavior change often precedes affect or cognitive changes. For many, touch says love like nothing else. Making love is love.

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Restoring Intimacy without Drugs

How to "Build a Bridge" to Sexual Desire

Barry McCarthy • 8/29/2017 • 1 Comment

By Barry McCarthy - Contrary to media myths, movies, and male braggadocio, sex is seldom 100-percent successful, especially as men age. By a certain age, men need to learn what most women already know: good, satisfying, pleasurable sex, particularly in midlife and beyond, is more a matter of intimate teamwork than of physical hydraulics.

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After an Affair, How Much Should Be Shared?

How to Have an Honest Discussion Without Accusations and Defensiveness

Shirley Glass • 8/28/2017 • No Comments

By Shirley Glass - How much to share and when to share are issues that confront every couple trying to recover from the discovery of infidelity. I actively structure the timing and the process of disclosure because I've found that revealing the details of an affair is seldom constructive in the presence of uncontrolled emotional intensity or unresolved ambivalence about the future of the marriage.

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Loving Our Devices

When Does Attraction Turn Into Addiction?

Lauren Dockett • 7/23/2017 • 1 Comment

By Lauren Dockett - More and more therapists, regardless of how they feel about internet addiction as a diagnosis, are advising clients about the healthy use of their digital devices.

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Helping Older Couples Achieve "Good Enough" Sex

Teaching the Concept of Sexual Teamwork

Michael Metz • 6/1/2017 • 1 Comment

By Michael Metz - For the majority of middle-aged and older men experiencing problems getting and/or maintaining their erections, the drugs being promoted in the media are hardly a panacea. We've found that helping couples deal with erectile problems and other sexual realities brought on by the aging process has as much or more to do with their psychological and relational lives as it does with their physiological capacities.

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VIDEO: Susan Johnson on the Link Between Sex and Safety

How a "Secure Base" Promotes Sexual Exploration

Susan Johnson • 5/17/2017 • 1 Comment

What does it take to restore physical intimacy to a failing relationship? In this video clip, Susan Johnson, the originator of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, uses bonding science to explain the one condition every relationship needs in order to repair emotional hurt and restore satisfying sex. Take a moment to watch this clip. You'll be glad you did.

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Is It Possible to Divorce Well?

Three Buddhist Practices for Helping Partners Split Amicably

Ashley Davis Prend • 3/7/2017 • 2 Comments

By Ashley Davis Prend - I've drawn three simple, uncomplicated steps from Buddhist philosophy to help hostile spouses cultivate a spirit of nonviolence, generosity, and compassion toward their ex-partners. Counterintuitive as it seems, practicing these steps can help people find the kind of inner wisdom and peace that acts as an antidote to their self-destructive and aggressive impulses.

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The Gay Man in the Straight Marriage

Exploring the Uncharted Territory of a "Mixed-Orientation Marriage"

Jeff Levy • 2/24/2017 • 1 Comment

By Jeff Levy - Gay men married to women frequently describe their experiences in therapy as confusing and polarizing, facing a strong bias toward full disclosure and divorce. My work with gay and bisexual men over the past 10 years has taught me to see psychotherapy as a place to hold dynamic tensions without easy, premature resolutions.

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