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The Unlived Lives of Parents

A Mindful Exercise for Healing Old Wounds

Susan Pollak

By Susan Pollak - Becoming a parent gives us a chance to grow by attending to old wounds, including many that we may have forgotten. The aim is not to deny our history, but to understand it and develop a new relationship with it, bringing self-compassion to ourselves in those moments when we lose it. Here's a seven-step process that can help.

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How I Came to Rethink Children’s Challenging Behaviors

Doing Away with the Blame Game

Mona Delahooke

By Mona Delahooke - What’s at the root of children’s aggressive, defiant, and oppositional acts? And how can we better help the children who exhibit these behaviors? Polyvagal Theory shows that the drive to avoid threat and secure safety is what guides human behavior. As such, what we often label as “bad” behaviors are actually fight-or-flight behaviors.

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How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime

Pediatrician and TED Speaker Nadine Burke Harris on Treating the "Whole Person"

Ryan Howes

By Ryan Howes - Several years ago, pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris had a eureka moment when she discovered the adverse childhood experiences study (ACEs), which helped her realize her young patients with the most stubborn physical ailments were coping with all kinds of traumas.

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VIDEO: Doing Mindfulness Work with Kids

Two Techniques You Can Try Out Today

Chris Willard

Mindfulness specialist Chris Willard explains the difference between mindfulness work with kids and adults, and shares two techniques you can use today with children and teens in your practice.

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The Grandparenting Trainwreck

A Special Story from Our Family Matters Department

Jeanne Mills

By Jeanne Mills - Becoming a grandparent hasn't been easy—there've been numerous slip-ups—but I've learned a few lessons well.

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A Nightmare No More

Repairing the Parent-Child Bond is a Two-Way Street

Dafna Lender

By Dafna Lender - When difficulties arise between parent and child, most therapists naturally focus treatment on the child. But the parent–child bond is a two-way street, and parents come with their own history. In these situations, I can often find ways to help parents and children connect through attachment-based games that involve elements of silliness, movement, and surprise.

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When Doing Nothing is Everything

Especially with Kids, Learning to Slow Down Is a Precious Gift

Alicia Muñoz

Alicia Muñoz - When I got sick, something amazing happened: I let go of my agenda. Poof—just like that. In the process, I learned there’s nothing more important than doing nothing for extended periods of time, particularly with your child. It’s easy to overlook nondoing as an important activity—or as an important inactivity.

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