Do I Have to Forgive You?
Loosening the Grip of Obsessive Anger and Pain
The hardest part of letting go of anger can be accepting that the offending party is never going to apologize, never going to see themselves objectively, and never going to listen to our feelings with openness of mind or heart.
Magazine Article
Healing the Mother–Daughter Connection
When "I'm Sorry" is Just the First Step
Certain apologies are so courageous that the very word apology seems too glib. Letty’s story is one that falls on the heroic end of the apology spectrum. I believe it was the most stunning apology process I have ever witnessed.
Daily Blog
What It Really Means to Apologize
…While Holding Wrongdoers Accountable
By Harriet Lerner - We’re all imperfect human beings, so the need to give and receive apologies is with us until our very last breath. Yet there’s no greater challenge than listening to the anger and pain of someone who’s accusing us of causing it.
Daily Blog
Family Matters
An Apple Seed and Trained Monkeys: Growing Up Under the Influence of My Big Sister's Imagination
Whether as playmate, protector, or tormentor, a big sister looms large in the imagination of her younger sibling.
Magazine Article
The Challenge of the Healing Apology
Highlights from Symposium 2018
At this cultural moment of the #MeToo movement, which has heightened awareness of a broad range of transgressions, psychologist and bestselling author Harriet Lerner offered a penetrating analysis of the truly healing apology.
Magazine Article
The Power of Apologizing
What It Takes to Really Be Sorry
Unlike the faux public apologies from men accused of sexual misconduct that 2017 will likely be remembered for, our private apologies have the potential to heal broken connections and restore trust. But an apology that opens the door to forgiveness and healing for serious harm is a long-distance run that requires courage, clarity, and integrity.
Magazine Article
Apologizing Under Fire
How to Handle Big-Time Criticism
It’s difficult enough to offer an apology when we see the need for it and believe it’s the right thing to do. It’s far more difficult when we’re confronted with criticism we didn’t see coming, and that we don’t believe is fair.
Magazine Article
Page 1 of 1 (7 Items)
Page 1 of 1 (0 Items)
Healing the Mother–Daughter Connection
When "I'm Sorry" is Just the First Step
Certain apologies are so courageous that the very word apology seems too glib. Letty’s story is one that falls on the heroic end of the apology spectrum. I believe it was the most stunning apology process I have ever witnessed.
Daily Blog
What It Really Means to Apologize
…While Holding Wrongdoers Accountable
By Harriet Lerner - We’re all imperfect human beings, so the need to give and receive apologies is with us until our very last breath. Yet there’s no greater challenge than listening to the anger and pain of someone who’s accusing us of causing it.
Daily Blog
Page 1 of 1 (2 Items)
Do I Have to Forgive You?
Loosening the Grip of Obsessive Anger and Pain
The hardest part of letting go of anger can be accepting that the offending party is never going to apologize, never going to see themselves objectively, and never going to listen to our feelings with openness of mind or heart.
Magazine Article
Family Matters
An Apple Seed and Trained Monkeys: Growing Up Under the Influence of My Big Sister's Imagination
Whether as playmate, protector, or tormentor, a big sister looms large in the imagination of her younger sibling.
Magazine Article
The Challenge of the Healing Apology
Highlights from Symposium 2018
At this cultural moment of the #MeToo movement, which has heightened awareness of a broad range of transgressions, psychologist and bestselling author Harriet Lerner offered a penetrating analysis of the truly healing apology.
Magazine Article
The Power of Apologizing
What It Takes to Really Be Sorry
Unlike the faux public apologies from men accused of sexual misconduct that 2017 will likely be remembered for, our private apologies have the potential to heal broken connections and restore trust. But an apology that opens the door to forgiveness and healing for serious harm is a long-distance run that requires courage, clarity, and integrity.
Magazine Article
Apologizing Under Fire
How to Handle Big-Time Criticism
It’s difficult enough to offer an apology when we see the need for it and believe it’s the right thing to do. It’s far more difficult when we’re confronted with criticism we didn’t see coming, and that we don’t believe is fair.
Magazine Article
Page 1 of 1 (5 Items)
Harriet Lerner, PhD, is one of our nation's most respected voices on the psychology of women and marriage and family relationships. For three decades, she was a staff psychologist and psychotherapist at The Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas, and a faculty member and supervisor in the Karl Menninger School of Psychiatry. Currently in private practice in Lawrence, Kansas, she is the author of numerous scholarly articles and 11 books, including the New York Times best-seller, The Dance of Anger, Women in Therapy, The Dance of Connection, and The Dance of Fear. Lerner has been a guest on Oprah, CNN, NPR and numerous other media. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book author, and she hosts a blog for Psychology Today and The Huffington Post. Lerner's new book is Marriage Rules: A Manual for the Married and The Coupled Up.
