Helping Couples Work Through Old Character Attacks
Ellen Wachtel • 5/23/2019
By Ellen Wachtel - I used to believe that if a couple was getting along and behaving in a loving way to one another, hurtful and even cruel words would naturally fade into the background. But I’ve frequently seen couples in which hurt spouses may forgive their partner for the harsh words spoken in anger, but nonetheless remain haunted by some biting comment that continues to sting long after the argument is over.
Daily Blog
Storm Damage: Angry Words Can Sink a Relationship
Ellen Wachtel • 3/7/2019
Even though partners may forgive each other after a heated argument, the hurtful words that were hurled can be haunting nonetheless.
Magazine Article
In a Good Relationship, Your Problems Aren't Yours Alone
Ellen Wachtel • 8/10/2018
By Ellen Wachtel - In couples therapy, if we can help each partner be a better therapist for the other, all three of us can feel more helpful and effective. My favorite way is to start by using a particular exercise to provide a window into each partner’s psyche.
Daily Blog
Becoming a Therapist for Each Other: How to Deepen Couples Therapy
Ellen Wachtel • 7/6/2018
How to address one partner’s long-term issues in couples therapy without derailing work on the current relationship.
Magazine Article
How to Accomplish Something in Every Session
Ellen Wachtel • 3/2/2018
By Ellen Wachtel - Doing couples therapy isn’t easy. But often there are implicit positives in statements in which the main point is anger, disappointment, and hurt. With practice, therapists can learn to pick up on the strengths that are embedded in painful emotions.
Daily Blog