In the past, resilience was thought of as an immutable trait: something we're born with that predetermines how well we can tolerate stress. In reality, Linda Graham explains, “resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity.” It's something that can be developed with training, like a muscle.

Helping hyperaroused clients learn to manage overwhelming emotions is like helping them steer a ship in stormy waters, says therapist and mindfulness practitioner Linda Graham. Here, she breaks down her "ABCs" approach to helping clients retake the wheel.

Given the confluence of challenges we’re collectively facing these days, developing resilience has become more crucial than ever. We now need to ask, how can we not just bounce back, but bounce forward, to new possibilities, new perspectives, and new strengths?

When clients are emotionally worked up, caught in fight-flight-freeze mode, all their hard-earned skills in empathic listening and responsible (and responsive) speaking go out the window. Nothing therapeutic is going to happen until they feel calm enough and safe enough to reengage with each other. But by teaching behavior that helps clients' brains release oxytocin, a naturally occurring hormone which stimulates feelings of bonding and trust, and reduces fear and anxiety, we can create potent catalysts of psycho-physiological change.

How to get through to clients caught in fight-flight-freeze mode.