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What to Do When Your Client Cries

If It's Not Broken, Don't Fix It

Jay Efran • 7/18/2019

By Jay Efran - How can both joyful and tragic events elicit tears? This question puzzles many clinicians, including some who are considered experts in the field of emotional expression. The problem is that few of us have received explicit training in theories of emotion. And sometimes, clinicians can feel an urge to rush in and “fix things” that aren’t broken.

Daily Blog

VIDEO: What to Do When Your Client Cries

Making Tears Your Therapeutic Ally

Jay Efran • 8/22/2018

Many times, when clients cry, clinicians feel an urge to rush in and “fix things” that aren’t broken, which can actually make things worse. Watch as Jay Efran explains his strategy for working with a crying client.

Daily Blog

Doing Away with the "Blank Slate"

What Happened When One Therapist Decided to Self-Disclose

Jay Efran • 11/14/2017

By Jay Efran - These days, I rarely hesitate to share my frank reactions with clients, most of whom, I have come to realize, are far hardier than we were taught to believe. If the setting is right, even brutal honesty can advance the therapeutic cause. Over the years, I have discovered a very handy therapeutic mantra to consider whenever the work bogs down, "When you find yourself stuck, try the truth."

Daily Blog

Conversational Skill, the Common Denominator in Good Therapy

Are Specialization and Clinical Complexity Really Necessary?

Jay Efran • 8/24/2016

By Jay Efran and Rob Fauber - Over psychotherapy’s history, the search for new therapy techniques and fancier gimmicks has led the field lurching down one blind alley after another. But therapy is undeniably a form of conversation, not a medical treatment. It can never be fully scripted or manualized, and its value hinges on a few basic principles that have been known for a long time.

Daily Blog

Spitting in the Client's Soup

Don’t Overthink Your Interventions

Jay Efran, Rob Fauber • 3/1/2015

In our profession, it’s often more alluring to explore new gimmicks than to acknowledge that our success largely hinges on simple, commonsense factors.

Magazine Article
Copyright:
3/19/2013
Authors:
RICHARD SIMON, PH.D.
 
BRAD SACHS, PHD
 
DAVID WATERS, PHD
 
JAY EFRAN, PH.D.
 
MARY SYKES WYLIE, PHD
 
MICHAEL VENTURA, PHD
 
MITCHELL GREENE, PHD
Product:
NRC095564
Copyright:
2/13/2013
Authors:
MARY JO BARRETT, MSW
 
OFER ZUR, PHD
 
LINDA STONE FISH, MSW, PHD
 
ARNOLD A. LAZARUS, PHD, ABPP
 
KATY BUTLER, MA
 
JAN MICHAEL SHERMAN, MA
 
JANINE ROBERTS, EDD
 
JAY EFRAN, PH.D.
 
JENNY NEWSOME
 
MICHAEL F. HOYT, PHD
 
SUSAN ROWAN
Product:
NRC095556
Copyright:
5/1/2012
Authors:
WILLIAM DOHERTY, PH.D.
 
RON TAFFEL, PH.D.
 
STEVE ANDREAS, MA, NLP
 
CLIFTON MITCHELL, PH.D.
 
JAY EFRAN, PH.D.
 
ROB FAUBER, PHD
Product:
NRC095765

Tell the Truth

Letting Go of Our Inscrutable Facade

Jay Efran • 3/2/2002

There is a basic inequality built into the therapy contract—we ask clients to disclose their vulnerabilities, while we hide behind a facade of unflappability, presumably floating above ordinary human foibles, untouched by the jolts and discouragements of life. While preaching congruence, who among us has never pretended fondness for a client we actually disliked, didn't understand, and didn't trust? But on at least two occasions, with a minimum of strategic deliberation, I opted to step out from behind my own well-cultivated facade of inscrutability to tell clients the unvarnished truth—with surprising results.

Magazine Article
Page 1 of 1 (9 Items)
Copyright:
3/19/2013
Authors:
RICHARD SIMON, PH.D.
 
BRAD SACHS, PHD
 
DAVID WATERS, PHD
 
JAY EFRAN, PH.D.
 
MARY SYKES WYLIE, PHD
 
MICHAEL VENTURA, PHD
 
MITCHELL GREENE, PHD
Product:
NRC095564
Copyright:
2/13/2013
Authors:
MARY JO BARRETT, MSW
 
OFER ZUR, PHD
 
LINDA STONE FISH, MSW, PHD
 
ARNOLD A. LAZARUS, PHD, ABPP
 
KATY BUTLER, MA
 
JAN MICHAEL SHERMAN, MA
 
JANINE ROBERTS, EDD
 
JAY EFRAN, PH.D.
 
JENNY NEWSOME
 
MICHAEL F. HOYT, PHD
 
SUSAN ROWAN
Product:
NRC095556
Copyright:
5/1/2012
Authors:
WILLIAM DOHERTY, PH.D.
 
RON TAFFEL, PH.D.
 
STEVE ANDREAS, MA, NLP
 
CLIFTON MITCHELL, PH.D.
 
JAY EFRAN, PH.D.
 
ROB FAUBER, PHD
Product:
NRC095765
Page 1 of 1 (3 Items)

What to Do When Your Client Cries

If It's Not Broken, Don't Fix It

Jay Efran • 7/18/2019

By Jay Efran - How can both joyful and tragic events elicit tears? This question puzzles many clinicians, including some who are considered experts in the field of emotional expression. The problem is that few of us have received explicit training in theories of emotion. And sometimes, clinicians can feel an urge to rush in and “fix things” that aren’t broken.

Daily Blog

VIDEO: What to Do When Your Client Cries

Making Tears Your Therapeutic Ally

Jay Efran • 8/22/2018

Many times, when clients cry, clinicians feel an urge to rush in and “fix things” that aren’t broken, which can actually make things worse. Watch as Jay Efran explains his strategy for working with a crying client.

Daily Blog

Doing Away with the "Blank Slate"

What Happened When One Therapist Decided to Self-Disclose

Jay Efran • 11/14/2017

By Jay Efran - These days, I rarely hesitate to share my frank reactions with clients, most of whom, I have come to realize, are far hardier than we were taught to believe. If the setting is right, even brutal honesty can advance the therapeutic cause. Over the years, I have discovered a very handy therapeutic mantra to consider whenever the work bogs down, "When you find yourself stuck, try the truth."

Daily Blog

Conversational Skill, the Common Denominator in Good Therapy

Are Specialization and Clinical Complexity Really Necessary?

Jay Efran • 8/24/2016

By Jay Efran and Rob Fauber - Over psychotherapy’s history, the search for new therapy techniques and fancier gimmicks has led the field lurching down one blind alley after another. But therapy is undeniably a form of conversation, not a medical treatment. It can never be fully scripted or manualized, and its value hinges on a few basic principles that have been known for a long time.

Daily Blog
Page 1 of 1 (4 Items)

Spitting in the Client's Soup

Don’t Overthink Your Interventions

Jay Efran, Rob Fauber • 3/1/2015

In our profession, it’s often more alluring to explore new gimmicks than to acknowledge that our success largely hinges on simple, commonsense factors.

Magazine Article

Tell the Truth

Letting Go of Our Inscrutable Facade

Jay Efran • 3/2/2002

There is a basic inequality built into the therapy contract—we ask clients to disclose their vulnerabilities, while we hide behind a facade of unflappability, presumably floating above ordinary human foibles, untouched by the jolts and discouragements of life. While preaching congruence, who among us has never pretended fondness for a client we actually disliked, didn't understand, and didn't trust? But on at least two occasions, with a minimum of strategic deliberation, I opted to step out from behind my own well-cultivated facade of inscrutability to tell clients the unvarnished truth—with surprising results.

Magazine Article
Page 1 of 1 (2 Items)
Jay Efran, Ph.D., professor emeritus of psychology at Temple University. He received the Pennsylvania Psychological Association’s 2009 award for Distinguished Contributions to the Science and Profession of Psychology and is co-author of Language, Structure and Change and The Tao of Sobriety.