What someone resists persists. It’s a paradoxical dynamic that you’ve probably seen in the course of your own clinical work. In this video, Chris explains how “fixing” approaches can backfire and then he shares an example from his own life of self-compassion’s ability to soften resistance and heal a deep, persistent issue.

With the rapid proliferation of new therapies for every possible difficulty in life, it often seems that we’re trying to do the impossible---eliminate basic human suffering. But suffering doesn’t seem to go away, no matter how many therapies or self-help strategies we employ. When we’re overwhelmed with intense and disturbing emotions, such as shame, just noticing what’s happening is often not enough. We need to embrace ourselves. Self-compassion allows us to do this. It means treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding with which we’d want to treat someone we truly love.

As the mindfulness movement sweeps through our field, many therapists are discovering that traditional contemplative practices grounded in detached self-observation have limits. When we’re overwhelmed with intense and disturbing emotions, just observing moment-to-moment experience is often not enough.