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What Does a Son Owe a Mother?

A squeeze of the Hand

Barry Jacobs • 11/11/2017

By Barry Jacobs - For 58 years, from my birth until her death, my mother and I clashed over money and material values, cents and sensibilities. She may have felt entitled to a grand lifestyle, but I felt entitled to a less solipsistic mother—one who relished, not hated, my help. Years later, I found myself able to relax and just be her adult son in a way I’d never experienced.

Daily Blog

Family Matters

A Squeeze of the Hand: What Does a Son Owe His Mother?

Barry Jacobs • 9/7/2017

After a lifetime of conflict, a son faces the question of what he owes his mother.

Magazine Article

Reframing the "Burden" of Caretaking

Why Accepting Help is Empowering for Those Receiving and Giving

Barry Jacobs • 4/25/2017

By Barry Jacobs - For those who've spent their lifetimes taking pride in giving generously to others, suddenly being on the receiving end of care because of illness or age-related infirmity can be tormenting. For many, rejecting help is regarded as a measure of one's courage and determination in battling family crises brought on by old age or disease. Here are some ways of overcoming this common tendency to refuse help.

Daily Blog

When Siblings Become a Parent's Primary Caregivers

Here Are Three Ways to Defuse Confrontation

Barry Jacobs • 1/27/2017

By Barry Jacobs - Nothing reveals the fault lines in sibling relationships like the seismic shift caused by an aging parent's sudden decline. Brothers and sisters can quickly become locked in conflict about what's best for Mom and Dad. Here's how to help them forget their old rivalries and cooperate with one another.

Daily Blog

Intimate Enemies

A Stepson Reconsiders a Long-Held Resentment

Barry Jacobs • 12/2/2016

By Barry Jacobs - A lot of blended families don’t really blend: the new “relatives” at first try to join together, but then they quietly distance themselves, however awkwardly, as differences and conflicts emerge, even as they try to pretend otherwise. My stepfather, Steve, and I made no such pretense—we were enemies from the start.

Daily Blog

Family Matters

Intimate Enemies

Barry Jacobs • 11/3/2016

A stepson reconsiders a long-held resentment.

Magazine Article

Promoting Positive Caregiving

Helping Clients Escape Negative Cycles in Caring for Aging Parents

Barry Jacobs • 5/27/2016

By Barry Jacobs and Julia Mayer - The bedraggled, beleaguered, and bereft family caregivers who come to us for therapy have a common litany of complaints. They feel overburdened by caregiving tasks, unacknowledged by those they’re caring for, and unsupported by family members who take their herculean efforts for granted. Here's how to help them approach the caregiving experience more positively.

Daily Blog

In Consultation

The Rewards of Caregiving: Escaping Negative Cycles

Barry Jacobs • 5/9/2016

How to help beleaguered caretakers of elderly parents find meaning and purpose in a challenging task.

Magazine Article

Helping Therapy Clients Cope with the Reality of Death

Clinical Wisdom to Combat Fear, Anxiety, and Grief at the End of Life

Barry Jacobs • 11/17/2015

For 17 years, managing responses to death has become part of my work, whether originally my intention or not. I’ve aspired to helping families hang tough through medical crisis, but now spend some of my time hanging crepe. I’ve now accepted the variety of ways people react to their dying. All of these ways of facing death are utterly ordinary and human. Throughout it all, I've learned that as difficult and awkward as confronting death can be, this work also gives me a richer sense of my client, the cast of characters in their world, and the drama of their life.

Daily Blog

Therapy Lessons from Men's Relationship with Sports

Using Athletics to Tap into Male Emotions, Relationships, and Aggression

Barry Jacobs • 11/3/2015

I understand and relate to the passion that many men have for sports. At the same time, I'm aware of a counternarrative held by many of my psychotherapist colleagues: sports breeds competition, which causes decreased empathy, which foments injustice. Still, there's so much more here: rich drama, with which to understand the strivings, insecurities, and identities of many of our male clients. Sports can teach us about trust, relationships, teamwork, and our power to regulate feelings.

Daily Blog
Page 1 of 2 (16 Items)
Copyright:
4/8/2013
Authors:
MICHAEL VENTURA, PHD
 
RICHARD SIMON, PH.D.
 
JAY LEBOW, PHD
 
BARRY JACOBS, PSYD, LP, DBTC
 
MARIAN SANDMAIER, MA
 
TERRY HARGRAVE, PHD
 
WALTER LOWE, MD
Product:
NRC095567
Type:
$39.99 USD
Page 1 of 1

What Does a Son Owe a Mother?

A squeeze of the Hand

Barry Jacobs • 11/11/2017

By Barry Jacobs - For 58 years, from my birth until her death, my mother and I clashed over money and material values, cents and sensibilities. She may have felt entitled to a grand lifestyle, but I felt entitled to a less solipsistic mother—one who relished, not hated, my help. Years later, I found myself able to relax and just be her adult son in a way I’d never experienced.

Daily Blog

Reframing the "Burden" of Caretaking

Why Accepting Help is Empowering for Those Receiving and Giving

Barry Jacobs • 4/25/2017

By Barry Jacobs - For those who've spent their lifetimes taking pride in giving generously to others, suddenly being on the receiving end of care because of illness or age-related infirmity can be tormenting. For many, rejecting help is regarded as a measure of one's courage and determination in battling family crises brought on by old age or disease. Here are some ways of overcoming this common tendency to refuse help.

Daily Blog

When Siblings Become a Parent's Primary Caregivers

Here Are Three Ways to Defuse Confrontation

Barry Jacobs • 1/27/2017

By Barry Jacobs - Nothing reveals the fault lines in sibling relationships like the seismic shift caused by an aging parent's sudden decline. Brothers and sisters can quickly become locked in conflict about what's best for Mom and Dad. Here's how to help them forget their old rivalries and cooperate with one another.

Daily Blog

Intimate Enemies

A Stepson Reconsiders a Long-Held Resentment

Barry Jacobs • 12/2/2016

By Barry Jacobs - A lot of blended families don’t really blend: the new “relatives” at first try to join together, but then they quietly distance themselves, however awkwardly, as differences and conflicts emerge, even as they try to pretend otherwise. My stepfather, Steve, and I made no such pretense—we were enemies from the start.

Daily Blog

Promoting Positive Caregiving

Helping Clients Escape Negative Cycles in Caring for Aging Parents

Barry Jacobs • 5/27/2016

By Barry Jacobs and Julia Mayer - The bedraggled, beleaguered, and bereft family caregivers who come to us for therapy have a common litany of complaints. They feel overburdened by caregiving tasks, unacknowledged by those they’re caring for, and unsupported by family members who take their herculean efforts for granted. Here's how to help them approach the caregiving experience more positively.

Daily Blog

Helping Therapy Clients Cope with the Reality of Death

Clinical Wisdom to Combat Fear, Anxiety, and Grief at the End of Life

Barry Jacobs • 11/17/2015

For 17 years, managing responses to death has become part of my work, whether originally my intention or not. I’ve aspired to helping families hang tough through medical crisis, but now spend some of my time hanging crepe. I’ve now accepted the variety of ways people react to their dying. All of these ways of facing death are utterly ordinary and human. Throughout it all, I've learned that as difficult and awkward as confronting death can be, this work also gives me a richer sense of my client, the cast of characters in their world, and the drama of their life.

Daily Blog

Therapy Lessons from Men's Relationship with Sports

Using Athletics to Tap into Male Emotions, Relationships, and Aggression

Barry Jacobs • 11/3/2015

I understand and relate to the passion that many men have for sports. At the same time, I'm aware of a counternarrative held by many of my psychotherapist colleagues: sports breeds competition, which causes decreased empathy, which foments injustice. Still, there's so much more here: rich drama, with which to understand the strivings, insecurities, and identities of many of our male clients. Sports can teach us about trust, relationships, teamwork, and our power to regulate feelings.

Daily Blog
Page 1 of 1 (7 Items)

Family Matters

A Squeeze of the Hand: What Does a Son Owe His Mother?

Barry Jacobs • 9/7/2017

After a lifetime of conflict, a son faces the question of what he owes his mother.

Magazine Article

Family Matters

Intimate Enemies

Barry Jacobs • 11/3/2016

A stepson reconsiders a long-held resentment.

Magazine Article

In Consultation

The Rewards of Caregiving: Escaping Negative Cycles

Barry Jacobs • 5/9/2016

How to help beleaguered caretakers of elderly parents find meaning and purpose in a challenging task.

Magazine Article

In Consultation

Doing What's Best for Mom and Dad: Helping Contentious Siblings Find Common Cause

Barry Jacobs • 9/1/2010

A parent's failing health can stir up a hornet's nest of trouble among adult siblings.

Magazine Article

Game On!

Bringing the locker room into the consulting room

Barry Jacobs • 5/1/2010

Although therapy is often considered a profession dominated by the female sensibility, a lifelong gym rat, much practiced in the arts of masculine aggression, applies the lessons of the basketball court in the consulting room.

Magazine Article

In Consultation

Receiving with Grace - Teaching reluctant seniors to accept help

Barry Jacobs • 10/18/2008


Magazine Article

Reliable Witness

What it Takes to be With Your Clients to the End

Barry Jacobs • 9/1/2007

Few of us instinctively know what to do and say when families are confronting the death of a loved one. But we can start by being with them in the struggle.

Magazine Article

War Stories

Helping Old Soldiers Find the Will to Live

Barry Jacobs • 7/7/1998

Ted was like many older men I'd seen who, after suffering sudden medical catastrophes, figured they had no other choice but to surrender to their dire circumstances. He hadn't asked to see a psychologist; in fact, he had never in his life dreamed of speaking with one. Yet I was supposed to march into his hospital room and sound some battle cry, compelling him to fight to live again.

Magazine Article
Page 1 of 1 (8 Items)
Barry Jacobs, Psy.D., is the director of behavioral sciences for the Crozer-Keystone Family Medicine Residency Program and the author of The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers. He's on the Caregiver Advisory Panel and writes a monthly column for AARP.