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By Rich Simon As therapists, many of us practice in two different worlds. In the first, we see polite, well-behaved, articulate clients with solid values. They engage fully in therapy, talk cogently about their problems, listen attentively to our responses, make reasonably good-faith efforts to follow our suggestions, and sooner or later get better. No wonder we genuinely like these people! and porn use doesn’t threaten a marriage like infidelity does. In fact, porn use may satisfy many individual needs, unrelated to psychopathology or sexual dysfunction. In this workshop, we’ll describe a method for assessing whether clients’ porn use is an addiction or a way of fulfilling unmet needs. We’ll discuss how to help couples face the crisis when one partner discovers that the other is secretly using pornography. You’ll learn how to help couples depathologize the issue, explore its significance to the user, and define limits. Finally, we’ll talk about helping the spouses develop empathy and validation, ultimately creating a more differentiated sex life.
Tammy Nelson, Ph.D, M.S., is the founder and executive director of the Center for Healing. She’s the author of Getting the Sex You Want and What’s Eating You?
Joe Kort, Ph.D., L.M.S.W., specializes in individual, couples, and group psychotherapy for gay and straight clients. He’s a certified sex therapist and certified Imago Relationship therapist and the author of Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician: The Essential Guide.