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By Rich Simon As therapists, many of us practice in two different worlds. In the first, we see polite, well-behaved, articulate clients with solid values. They engage fully in therapy, talk cogently about their problems, listen attentively to our responses, make reasonably good-faith efforts to follow our suggestions, and sooner or later get better. No wonder we genuinely like these people! that both clients have at least a minimal stake in preserving their union. Most therapists are unprepared to treat a couple in which one partner is a real “customer” and the other is an out-and-out spoiler. In this workshop, we’ll discuss how to use individual and joint sessions to work with such couples in a way that respects each partner’s separate agenda, while creating a holding environment for both. You’ll learn how to set up a six-month contract with the couple, shape therapy to the needs of each individual, and help both partners become more responsible for themselves. You’ll find out how to help them treat each other respectfully despite their disagreements and learn from the crisis.
William Doherty, Ph.D., is a professor and director of the Citizen Professional Center at the University of Minnesota. His books include Take Back Your Marriage, Putting Family First, and Take Back Your Kids. His latest is Family Therapy, with Susan McDaniel.