Join Us

Facebook Twitter YouTube

In This Section

Recent Posts

How Therapy Enhances Psychopharmacology

Frank Anderson On The Process That Gets A Client’s Body On Board

NP0038: Who’s Afraid of Couples Therapy?

Welcome to our “Who’s Afraid of Couples Therapy?” This exciting series, back by popular demand, is based on our November/December 2011 issue on this topic and will explore the challenges of couples work. What are the most effective strategies in working with couples? How can therapists structure therapy—particularly in the early sessions—so that couples leave with a sense of hope, rather than frustration? Can working with individuals who have serious issues in their relationships actually be detrimental to them? Find out the answers to these questions and much more. In this first session with expert couples therapists Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, the creators of the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, you’ll find out why clinicians often avoid working with couples and how you can better prepare yourself for couples therapy work. How can therapists most effectively work with emotion in the consulting room—particularly when it comes to couples therapy? Learn with internationally known couples therapist Hedy Schleifer how to help create a nourishing connection between partners, define a role as therapist-as-guide, and much more. Schleifer, who’s pioneered the training of Imago Relationship therapists internationally, will go into how to use this theory in practice and how to best work with emotions. What happens when partners in couples therapy have two different agendas in mind? Hear from expert William Doherty on this little spoken about topic. Learn how Discernment Counseling, an approach that helps couples clarify their feelings about the next step in their relationship, can help both clients and therapists. Is it possible to rebuild trust and intimacy in a couple’s relationship after a partner has had an affair? How can therapists help? Hear from Esther Perel, author of the international bestseller Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, on how to help couples after an infidelity and the role that cultural perspectives have in this emotional situation. Explore this classic dynamic of couples therapy—an angry woman and a withdrawn man—that’s often confusing for therapists, with couples therapist Jette Simon. Learn more about what’s behind the feelings of anger and the behavior of withdrawing, and how clinicians can more effectively work with shame and fear of disconnection. Hear an unconventional perspective on couples therapy from David Schnarch, who believes that the best way to help couples is to challenge partners to change their individual behaviors and attitudes. Schnarch’s direct, upfront approach to helping clients will illustrate a different viewpoint on effective couples therapy. Join Marty Klein, a marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist, us for a candid discussion about the assumptions that both clients and therapists often share that can get in the way of improving couples’ sexual relationships. Discover with Kathryn Rheem how to respond effectively when clients express strong feelings in session. Based on Emotionally Focused Therapy, you’ll explore attunement and how to use your own emotions to help clients move beyond attachment injuries. After the session, please let us know what you think. If you ever have any technical questions or issues, please feel free to email support@psychotherapynetworker.org.

Whole Psychiatry: Alternatives to Conventional Psychopharmacology with Robert Hedaya

Meds: Myths and Realities: NP0035 – Session 4

Is psychopharmacology is a 'go-to' in your practice? Join Robert Hedaya as he discusses how to treat the bodily systems that underlay many mental health issues while avoiding medication. After the session, please let us know what you think. If you ever have any technical questions or issues, please feel free to email support@psychotherapynetworker.org.

Treating the Mixed-Agenda Couple

Bill Doherty On An Approach For Unaligned Relationships

Tough Customers: Is It Them or Us?

Tough CustomersBy Rich Simon As therapists, many of us practice in two different worlds. In the first, we see polite, well-behaved, articulate clients with solid values. They engage fully in therapy, talk cogently about their problems, listen attentively to our responses, make reasonably good-faith efforts to follow our suggestions, and sooner or later get better. No wonder we genuinely like these people!
Enlisting the ODD Child


Enlisting the ODD Child

How to move beyond the power struggle

By James Levine

Q: I'm a public school counselor with a fifth-grade boy diagnosed with AD/HD and ODD. At least five behavioral plans have been tried unsuccessfully. What should I do?

A: Children diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) inspire many myths. School personnel and even parents believe that these children enjoy frustrating others, don't care what anybody thinks about them, and are impossible to teach.

But ODD is a label for various behaviors, and it indicates nothing about why such children act as they do. Are they experiencing repeated trauma? Do they have Asperger's Syndrome and are getting more sensory stimulation than they can handle? Are they worn out and angry from living with anxiety or depression?

Harried teachers and counselors often resort to interventions without devoting enough time to learning what's driving the child to behave in this way. Once a reasonable hypothesis has been made about the cause of their actions, however, cognitive-behavioral techniques and traditional relationship-building strategies can help even the most challenging children.

Tim, 11 years old and entering the fifth grade, angered not only his teacher and principal, but many of his peers. When I observed him in the classroom, he was distractible and impulsive, continually scanning the room, calling out, and touching things and people. There was no denying the glint in his eye when the teacher sent him off to the principal's office for the umpteenth time. He seemed to get satisfaction from the uproar he caused.

His history included a lengthy record of school failure, poor self-regulatory skills (problems during transitions, with little inclination to follow rules, listen to others, stop talking when asked, or keep his anger in check), and countless disciplinary events. The school and his parents had tried many behavioral interventions, but without success. These plans were based on traditional ideas about how to intervene, incorporating a cascade of rewards and punishments with little idea about what was driving Tim's behavior and without seeking his input. The plans were imposed on him, and he found ways to defeat them. He was embroiled in an ongoing, endless power struggle.

The staff was open to trying a different approach. I recommended that the full team—everyone involved with him, including his regular and special teachers, the school counselor, and the assistant principal—schedule a time to meet together. This meeting was to explore the context of his behavior, to find patterns in when he had difficulty, and to make sense of the times when he did well. If nothing else, I wanted the team to broaden its understanding and develop a hypothesis about the reasons behind his actions.

Meeting proactively, not in response to a specific incident, proved beneficial, as the staff displayed sensitivity and compassion. We addressed the sudden disappearance of his mother, his time spent in foster care, and his need to feel in control. I didn't use the label PTSD, but what we really talked about was the trauma in his life, a concept that allowed everyone to see Tim in a new light.

I pointed out that the earlier behavioral interventions had been forced on Tim without discussion about what they were supposed to achieve (besides making him somehow "behave better"), or even how they were supposed to work. This approach had left him clueless, struggling to retain a sense of control. Therefore, I suggested that before replicating this orientation to behavioral planning, his two main fifth-grade teachers and the school counselor discuss with him the purpose of the plan, how it would work, and the specifics of its goals and rewards. Because of their antagonism toward adults in authority, children with ODD seldom receive opportunities to contribute input to their own treatment plans. My request was that he be allowed the chance to do exactly this.

Children with chronically oppositional behavior typically are unaccustomed to articulating their needs, wants, and experiences in collaborative, problem-solving ways. I often speculate about possible goals and rewards in cases when the child appears to experience the collaborative process as too intrusive or anxiety-provoking. ("How about if we try to help you with this behavior?" "Would you be interested if we provided you with time on the computer when you earn a reward?")

Tim clearly wasn't used to a collaborative approach to planning his treatment, so instead of upping the ante with a confrontation, we calmly and pleasantly invited him to take full part in the process. We asked him how he thought his treatment and reward plan should be structured. He said he wanted the plan to be easy to understand, a private arrangement between his teachers and him, and one that enabled him to receive rewards more frequently than once per week; the proposal that he wait until Friday to get his rewards made no sense to him. He was the first one during the discussion to note that he needed to do better at "listening to his teachers."

I typically try to use this type of supportive, clarifying, nonjudgmental approach to help children participate in the dialogue. The point of proceeding in this way is to allow an oppositional child to experience a sense of personal responsibility, rather than depending solely on outside control and authority. Just including Tim as a collaborator in the planning about his treatment—maybe for the first time—initiated a shift for the better. He became less defensive and more open to the idea that some of his behaviors needed to change. The process raised the possibility that issues could be talked about, rather than acted upon.

The discussion took place in short increments of time over two different days, giving him a chance to think things over and assimilate what had been talked about. The idea is to allot time to the process, to build the relationship, and to follow up on any openings to explore the child's behavior, rather than to rush into starting the actual intervention.

In consultation with Tim, we simplified the goals of the collaboratively developed plan to two: "Following directions" and "showing respect." I find that it's generally more effective to limit a plan to no more than two goals, as almost any oppositional behaviors can be encompassed by these categories and it keeps the plan from becoming unwieldy. As noted, Tim was receptive to the idea that he needed to improve on following directions. He was less inclined to acknowledge that he was disrespectful, but specific examples began to persuade him. Grudgingly, he agreed to give it a try. Again, it was an opening, a different starting point, compared with earlier, more rote approaches.

We framed the plan as a teaching tool, not a mechanism for showing him how "bad" his behavior was. Instead of receiving feedback only when he'd behaved oppositionally, the agreement was that each teacher who had him in a class would provide him with 60 to 90 seconds of behavioral feedback at the end of the class. For a boy whose life seemed to swirl around him, the predictability of this aspect of the plan would be instrumental in helping him stay with it. Another purpose of the feedback sessions was to give him a picture of what he looked like when he was on task. Teachers were initially concerned that this would be too time-consuming, but they quickly came around to the idea when they understood that children with Tim's profile tend to be more successful when the feedback is consistent and predictable, and that we'd only implement the plan for two weeks before we'd stop and evaluate it.

<< Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>
(Page 1 of 2)